Ephesians 5:33

Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

The apostle here returns to his comparison: Even so ought husbands to love their own wives as their own bodies. It is not a matter of choice, but of obligation, of duty. It is true indeed that mere human beings cannot love their spouses with the same measure of love which Christ showed in His solicitude for the Church. But every Christian husband can and should have the lave of Christ for the Church as an example before His eyes always; he should be willing to make sacrifices for the sake of his wife; he should always be ready to strengthen his wife, as the weaker vessel, in all good things. But Paul here expressly states that men have the duty of loving their wires, because a man's wife is his flesh by virtue of the marital relationship. It is thus a self-evident duty which Paul is trying to inculcate: He that loves his wife loves himself. It follows, therefore: For no one ever hated his own flesh, but every one nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also the Church. What Paul implies is that there surely is no need of reminding a man of the duty which he owes to his own flesh and blood, to his very own body. He takes the very best care of it, he covers and protects it. So the Christian husband will comport himself toward his wife in providing for her needs, both as to food and shelter, physical and moral. And here again the apostle brings out the example of Christ, whose nourishing and cherishing love toward the believers is so abundantly substantiated in Scripture and in personal experience. By way of explanation Paul here adds: For we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones. We Christians owe our existence, especially in spiritual matters, to Christ; by and through our conversion we became His members, we have His Spirit, His life, within us, we are connected with Him by the most intimate bonds of fellowship. As the wife in marriage becomes one flesh with her husband, so we, the members of the Church, the Bride of Christ, are united with our Bridegroom, deriving from Him our spiritual life and power at all times.

Returning now to the thought of v. 28, Paul refers to the order of God in creating the estate of holy matrimony: For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. See Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5. Here the fact that the wife is one flesh with her husband is supported by Scriptural proof. That is the plan, the design, of God. Marriage having been entered upon, former relations and considerations are altered, are placed secondary to this new relation between husband and wife. The wife is thereafter the man's own body, and upon him devolves the duty which the apostle has set forth in such a convincing manner.

The apostle is now ready to draw double conclusion from the discussion. So far as the example of Christ and the Church is concerned which he has adduced, he writes: This mystery is great; I speak, however, with reference to Christ and the Church. That marriage is here not called a sacrament, as the Romish Church teaches, is shown by the very words of Paul, who declares that He is speaking of Christ and the Church, and not of the estate of holy matrimony. But that is a mystery, a secret of faith, that Paul should use the relation obtaining between Christ and the Church as a type of the relation as it should obtain in holy wedlock, as he has set it forth in the preceding verses. No one but an inspired writer could have made the comparison in that way and attached to the comparison such solemn admonitions. But Paul has now said enough of that, so he concludes: Nevertheless (not to say more of that higher union), see that you, every one of you for his own person, so love his own wife as himself; the wife, on the other hand, reverence the man. There is no evading the issue here, and no excuses are acceptable. Each and every husband is under the express obligation to love his wife, no matter whether he encounter the difficulty of a temper or of some other unpleasantness. And so far as the wife is concerned, her position requires her to be obedient to the husband in reverent fear, which, on her side, also proceeds from love and is willing to overlook human frailties. It is mutual love, mutual understanding which will solve. all the problems of married life, if both husband and wife are actuated and governed by the fear of the Lord.

Summary

The apostle warns the Ephesians against walking in the impure lusts of the Gentiles, their calling obligating them to walk as the children of light, with all circumspection; he admonishes both husbands and wives to be diligent in their duties toward each other by holding before them the comparison of Christ's love toward the Church, His Bride.