John 2:4

‘And Jesus says to her, ‘Woman, what is there to you and to me, my hour is not yet come.'

That Mary's words are not just a quiet remark to her son comes out in the reply He made. It makes clear that He knew that she hoped that He would be able to do something remarkable, revealing some of the powers she now suspected that He had. On the other hand she knows that she cannot tell Him what to do. She can only draw His attention to the situation. Then the decision will lie with Him. It is probable that Joseph was already dead and that she had become used to leaning on her eldest son.

But the coming of the Messiah was often described in connection with a Messianic Feast (compare Isaiah 25:6) and it is quite possible she saw this as an opportunity for Him to reveal Himself. Like most of the others she saw the Messiah as someone who would bring peace and plenty and as His mother she could not wait for Him to be a success. Perhaps, she possibly thought, now was the time for Him to begin His greater ministry (compare John 7:3). She would have heard of what He had already done in Judea.

Jesus' reply is fairly stern, but not as stern as it might appear. “Woman” is difficult to put into English because we do not have a word that means the equivalent. In Yorkshire it could be translated ‘lass', (in Scotland ‘lassie'), which can be an affectionate term in the same way as this. It probably contains the sense of gentle chiding, but no more. It was, however, unusual for a Jew to address his mother in this way. We must therefore see in it a slight distancing of Himself, indicating that His ministry must not be interfered with.

What He says literally is, “What is there to you and to me?”. The phrase can be used (1) When one person is unjustly bothering another. The injured party may then say "What to me and to you?" meaning, "What have I done to you that you should do this to me?" (See Judges 11:12; 2 Chronicles 35:21; 1 Kings 17:18). Alternately, (2) it may be used when someone is asked to get involved in a matter he feels is no business of his, he may say to the one asking him, "What to me and to you?" meaning, "That is your business, how am I involved?" (See 2 Kings 3:13; Hosea 14:8).

Here then this probably means, ‘we have different concerns, lass', rather than the harsher ‘what have we in common?' or ‘why do you do this to me?' It was not yet the time when He wished to reveal Himself, as He makes crystal clear when He says ‘my hour has not yet come'. Even Jesus must await the hour God has appointed for Him, the hour which will finally result in His death and glorification (John 7:30; John 8:20; John 12:23; John 12:27; John 13:1; John 17:1). Would Mary have been so precipitate if she had known what was involved? It is hardly likely. How much more important is it for us then, not to rush into things before God and we are ready.

Jesus' words are significant. As we have already seen, in John's Gospel ‘His hour' is regularly linked with His death. So Jesus may well already be feeling aware of what His hour will bring (compare Mark 2:20) and not be desirous of bringing it about too quickly. It was not an easy path He would be called on to tread, and He was fully aware of the consequences. Furthermore it indicates that even the preparation for that path was determined by His Father. He must not begin His revelation of Himself without His Father's agreement. That fact having been made clear He apparently accepted that that particular hour had now come, the hour for showing His first sign of Who He Was.