Matthew 8:21

‘And another of the disciples said to him, “Lord, allow me first to go and bury my father.” '

This disciple recognises that to become a truly dedicated disciple will involve leaving his home behind. He acknowledges that while even God's creatures have their own homes, the disciples of Jesus are different. And he is ready for that, but not just yet. He is not quite ready now. He wants first to achieve his independence. It is an open question whether the disciple means that he wants to go back for a short while because his father is dying, or because he has just received news that his father is already dead, or whether he is referring to his filial duty to remain at home until his father dies, whenever that may be. But the principle is the same. He is seeking to avoid going with Jesus immediately.

We can compare here the case of Elisha who also went home to say farewell before following Elijah. But at that point Elisha cut himself off completely from his past life (1 Kings 19:19), and then did follow Elijah. But in that case Elijah was not moving on out of range. And there is certainly no indication that his father was dying. Here then it is probable that the man was in fact wanting to delay full discipleship until he was freed from family ties and filial duty.

That being so it might well be that Jesus here detects that there is behind the disciple's statement an evident reluctance to follow all the way (as with the rich young man later - Matthew 19:22), and that He is challenging him precisely on that point. He is telling him to sort out his priorities. Thus what seems at first a harsh reply then becomes perfectly understandable, and in line with other references to the relationship of disciples of Jesus to relatives (Matthew 10:37; Matthew 19:29; Luke 14:26). On the other hand it may be that Jesus, not being sure when He would return to Galilee, is stressing that at such moments as this crucial decisions must be made which must not be affected by anything, even the death of a father. The final lesson is undoubted. Nothing must be allowed to interfere with the decision to follow Jesus.