Proverbs 27:5,6

CRITICAL NOTES.—

Proverbs 27:5. Secret love. Zöckler and Hitzig understand this love to be that “which from false consideration dissembles, and does not tell his friend of his faults when it should do so.” Delitzsch thinks it refers to “love which is confined to the heart alone, like a fire which, when it burns secretly, neither lightens nor warms.”

MAIN HOMILETICS OF THE PARAGRAPH.— Proverbs 27:5; Proverbs 27:9; Proverbs 27:14

TESTS OF FRIENDSHIP

We group these verses together because they all treat of the same subject, viz., friendship in reality and friendship in profession only. The same subject occurred in the preceding chapter (see on Proverbs 27:23, and in chap. Proverbs 17:17, page 519.)

I. He does not love us truly who does not love us well enough to tell us of our faults. The true friend must desire to see the object of his affection as free from faults as it is possible for him to be; the truest and the purest love seeks by every means within its reach to bless the beloved one. And as we should not consider him a friend who would make no effort to free us from any bodily disease or physical deformity, we ought not to call him an enemy who will strive to rid us of moral and spiritual blemishes. For such an one gives proof that he cares more for our ultimate good than for our present smile—he shows that he is even willing to risk our displeasure in the hope of doing us real kindness. He who gives us kisses when he ought to give us reproof, or who holds back deserved rebuke from cowardice, is more cruel than if he withheld from us an indispensable medicine simply because it had a bitter taste. For if we will not take the unpleasant draught from the hand that we have clasped in friendship, we are not likely to find it more pleasant when administered by a stranger, much less by an enemy. And if a wound is to be probed it is surely better for the patient that it should be done by a skilful and tender hand than by one who has no sympathy with us and no acquaintance with our inner life. And as it is certain that those who do not love us will either rebuke us for our faults or despise us on account of them, the real friend is he who, by a loving faithfulness, strives to rid us of them. What would have become of David if Nathan had lacked the courage to say to him, “Thou art the man.”

II. Such a true friend is the most refreshing and invigorating influence that can bless our life. Setting aside the blessing and strength which come to man direct from his Father in heaven, there is no source whence he can derive so much help and comfort as from the hearty sympathy and sound advice of a real friend. They are like the anointing oil and perfume which refresh the weary Eastern traveller at the end of his day’s journey, removing the traces of toil and the sense of fatigue, and putting new life into every limb. Life is a dusty, toilsome highway for most men, and they sorely stand in need of some soothing and renewing influence as they pursue the journey. And this, Solomon assures us—and experience confirms his assurance—is to be found in hearty friendship.

III. The cultivation and retention of such friends should be one of the aims of life. Seeing that there is no other means by which we are so likely to get a true acquaintance with ourselves, and no other earthly influence which is so likely at once to elevate and console us, we ought to try and make real friends and be faithful to our friendships after they are formed. And especially we ought ever gratefully to remember the friends of our youth—those who gave us help and counsel when we most needed them, and to whose faithfulness and forbearance we probably owe far more than we can ever rightly estimate. There is a proneness in the youth as he rises into manhood, and is probably removed from early associations and lifted into a higher social sphere, to forget his earliest and truest friend, but the truly wise and honourable man will count fidelity to such a sacred duty.

OUTLINES AND SUGGESTIVE COMMENTS

Proverbs 27:6. Many indeed profess their value for a true friend; and yet in the most valuable discharge of friendship, they “count him their enemy.” The apostle had some just apprehension on this account, though so wise and affectionate, and speaking from the mouth of God. (Galatians 4:12). As if the rule of friendship was, that we should absolutely “please,” without reference to the Divine restriction—“for good to edification.” (Romans 15:2). Christian faithfulness is the only way of acting up to our profession. And much guilt lies upon the conscience in the neglect. But this open rebuke must not contravene the express rule of love—“telling the fault between thee and him alone.” Too often, instead of pouring it secretly into our brother’s ear, it is proclaimed through the wide medium of the world’s ear, and thus it passes through a multitude of channels before it reaches its one proper destination. The openness of the rebuke describes the free and unreserved sincerity of the heart, not necessarily the public exposure of the offender; save when the character of the offence, or the interests of others, may appear to demand it. (1 Timothy 5:20).—Bridges.

This is that false love which really injures its object; and which, on this account,—that is, from its injurious tendency, how little soever designed, gets in the Scriptures the designation of hatred: “Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him.” (Leviticus 19:17).—Wardlaw.

Proverbs 27:9. The best physic for man is man. For friendship is a kind of life to man, without which there is no comfort of a man’s life. Friendship is in men a kind of step to God, and by means of love man draweth near to God, when, as from being the friend of man, he is made the friend of God. But as among the Jews there was no oil that did so rejoice the heart as that wherewith the kings were anointed; no perfume that did so delight the soul as that which the priest offered; in like manner as there is no friend so sweet as God, so there is no counsel that doth so glad the soul, so cheer the heart, as that which He giveth in His word, whereby we are made even kings and priests unto him.—Jermin.

The heartiness of a friend’s counsel constitutes its excellence. It is not official, or merely intelligent. It is the counsel of his soul.—Bridges.

Proverbs 27:10. “Neither go into thy brother’s house in the day of thy calamity.” This has certainly the appearance of a very strange advice. Whither, in the day of our calamity, should we go, if not to the house of a brother? Where are we to expect a kind reception, and the comfort we require, if not there? But the proverb, like all others, must be understood generally, and applied in the circumstances and the sense obviously and mainly designed. The meaning seems to be either—

1. Do not choose “the day of thy calamity” for making thy visit, if thou hast not shown the same inclination to court and cultivate intimacy before, in the day of thy success and prosperity. This unavoidably looks not like the impulse of affection, but of felt necessity, or convenience and self-interest: “Ay, ay,” your brother will be naturally apt to say, “I saw little of you before: you are fain to come to me now, when you feel your need of me, and fancy I may be of some service to you.” Or,

2. Let not sympathy be forced and extorted. “In the day of thy calamity,” if thy brother has the heart of a brother, and really feels for thee, he will come to thee; he will seek and find thee. If he does not, then do not press yourself upon his notice, as if you would constrain and oblige him to be kind. This may, and probably will, have the effect of disgusting and alienating him, rather than gaining his love. Love and sympathy must be unconstrained as well as unbought. When they are either got by a bribe, or got by dint of urgent solicitation, they are alike heartless, and alike worthless. The reason is—“For better is a neighbour that is near, than a brother far off. The antithetical phrases “at hand” and “far off,” have evident reference here, not to locality, but to disposition. A friendly and kindly-disposed neighbour, who bears no relation to us save that of neighbourhood, is greatly preferable to a brother—to any near relation whatever that is cold, distant, and alienated.—Wardlaw.

The proverbial sense is, that better is a lesser comfort which is ready at hand, than a greater solace which we must go to seek after.—Jermin.

Proverbs 27:14. It is an excellent description of a notorious flatterer, and a just denunciation of his due reward. First, he blesseth with a loud voice, as if he wanted breath and sides to set out the praises of his friend, and as if he would not only awaken him with the news of it but many others also with the loudness of it. Secondly, he doth it rising early, as if it were some main and principal business which he had to do, and wherein he would show himself more forward than any others. Thirdly, he doth it in the morning, as if he would bless his friend before he blessed God, or rather would make him his God by offering his sacrifice of praise unto him.—Jermin.