DISCOURSE: 1457
THE SELF-DIFFIDENCE OF THE APOSTLES

Mark 14:17. And in the evening he cometh with the twelve. And as they sat and did eat, Jesus said, Verily I say unto you, One of you which eateth with me shall betray me. And they began to be sorrowful, and to say unto him one by one, Is it I? and another said, Is it I?

EVERY particular relative to the sufferings of our blessed Lord was the subject of prophecy. The Psalmist, in different parts of his inspired compositions, specifies many minute occurrences which should take place at the time of our Saviour’s death. In some of his expressions, the primary reference is to himself; in others, he refers to the Messiah alone. The passage to which there is an allusion in our text is of the former kind. It evidently is applicable, in the first instance, to David, whose life was sought by his friend Ahithophel [Note: Psalms 41:9. with 2 Samuel 16:23.]. But, inasmuch as David was an eminent type of Christ, as Ahithophel was of Judas, the passage is declared, by our blessed Lord himself, to have been a prediction of the event which was just about to be accomplished in the traitor Judas. Whilst all the Disciples were with their Lord, celebrating the Passover, Jesus declared to them what was about to take place; that one of them, even one of his twelve Apostles, who were with him, would betray him. This declaration filled them all with astonishment and grief. They all looked one upon another, to see whether any one would avow such an intention as that: and when no one seemed conscious of any such purpose, all began to suspect themselves, and to ask, “Lord, is it I? Is it I?”

We shall find it not unprofitable to consider,

I. The self-diffidence of the Apostles—

If ever there was an occasion when self-confidence might justly be expressed, methinks it was at that hour, and in reference to that point—
[Methinks the Apostles might well have said, ‘Lord, how can it be that any one of us should so forget his obligations to thee, as to deliver thee up into the hands of thy blood-thirsty enemies, that they may put thee to death? We trust that the principles which we have imbibed from thee are too deeply rooted in our hearts to admit of our ever perpetrating such an act of wickedness, unheard-of wickedness, as that. We acknowledge that we are both weak and sinful; but no consideration under heaven could ever induce us to commit such an abomination as that; and we do hope that, during the years thou hast known us, thou hast seen no reason to suspect us of it.’]
But amongst them all there was no feeling but of self-diffidence and self-distrust—
[No one doubted the truth of our Lord’s assertion, or questioned, for a moment, the certainty of the event. Nor did any one give way to unkind and uncharitable suspicions respecting his brethren. It might have been supposed that each, conscious of his own integrity, would begin to think which of the Apostles was the most likely to act so base a part; and to fix the accusation upon one or upon another, as the prejudices of his own mind might lead him. But nothing of this kind appeared in any one of them. Each began to suspect himself, rather than any other: each said, as it were, within his own bosom, ‘I know more evil of myself than I do of any one else; and therefore I have more reason to be jealous over myself, than over any other person: Lord, am I the unhappy person of whom thou speakest? I am not, indeed, conscious of any such intention: but thou knowest what is in man: thou knowest what evils I may yet commit: tell me, Lord, is it I?’ Thus, with the deepest grief, and the most painful anxiety, every one of them in succession asked, “Is it I? Is it I?”
At last the traitor Judas himself, fearing lest his very silence should mark him out as the one to whom the guilt must attach, presumed also to put the question, “Master, is it I [Note: Matthew 26:25.]?” And our Lord told him plainly that it was; and afterwards pointed him out also to the other Apostles, by giving to him a sop in, the presence of them all; that so, when the act should have been committed, and all the distressing consequences should have ensued, the other Apostles might remember, that the whole had been foretold by the prophets, and foreseen by our Lord himself [Note: John 13:18; John 13:25.]

Let us now attend to,

II.

The instruction to be derived from it—

Truly, it must have been a most affecting scene. From it we learn,

1. That there is no evil which fallen man is not capable of committing—

[There are some evils against which our nature utterly revolts; and, if we were supposed capable of committing them, we should be ready to say, with Hazael, “Is thy servant a dog, that he should do such a thing as this [Note: 2 Kings 8:11.]?” But so think all, till the fact is proved upon them. Suppose it had been said, “The God of heaven and earth will become incarnate, and in his own person display, as far as human eyes are capable of beholding it, all the glory of his perfections [Note: John 1:14.].” The whole period of his existence upon earth shall be occupied in the exercise of the sublimest virtue, and in acts of the most unbounded beneficence. But he shall be hated, reviled, persecuted even unto death, the accursed death of the cross. But where shall we find men base enough to accomplish it all? Where shall we find rulers impious enough to promote such wickedness, or people base enough to carry it into effect? Where shall we find a favoured Disciple to betray him? Where soldiers impious enough to seize him? Where a judge either unjust or timid enough to condemn him? Where shall we find a man hardy enough to stretch his sacred limbs upon the cross, and nail them to the accursed tree? Where, in short, shall we find agents capable of acting all the different parts in this bloody tragedy? If we were to ask of every individual ruler, and judge, and soldier in the universe, ‘Will you be the person to execute such an office against your incarnate God, and more especially after you have had all his glory displayed, as it were, before your eyes in every quarter of the land?’ you would think that the prophecy must fail, for want of persons to fulfil it. But it did take place, according to the predictions concerning it: and the Apostles shewed a just consciousness of the depravity of our fallen nature, when each, believing that the words of Jesus would be fulfilled, inquired whether he himself were the person destined to fulfil them.]

2. That there is no person so eminent, but he has reason to distrust himself—

[Had our Lord said, that some alien from his family should betray him, it might have been supposed that a person impious enough should be found. But shall such an one be found amongst his own Disciples, who have heard all his public discourses, and been instructed also by him in private, and beheld all his miracles, and been distinguished by him above all others amongst the sons of men? Yes, even amongst them shall this traitor be found. Not all the advantages that ever were enjoyed by mortal man, nor all the grace that was ever given to mortal man, will be sufficient to uphold him, if God, for one moment, withdraw from him his everlasting arms. A more holy man than David cannot be found: yet, after years of most distinguished piety, he fell, as you well know, into sin of the deepest die. Who that had seen Solomon, too, at the dedication of the temple, would have supposed it possible that he should abandon himself to such a course as he pursued during the greater part of his life? And who are we, that we should think ourselves beyond the reach of temptation and sin? “Let him that thinketh he standeth, take heed lest he fall.” To the most devout and holy amongst you all will I say, “Be not high-minded, but fear.” And when the most hateful picture of human deformity is exhibited to your view in the ministry of the word, do not begin to say with yourselves, “I wish that such or such an one were here to behold it!” but rather, with holy jealousy over yourselves, lift up your hearts to God, and say, “Lord, is it I? Lord, is it I?” Then pour out your souls before him; and with fervent supplication cry, “Search me, O Lord, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts; and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting [Note: Psalms 139:23.].”]

3. That the foreknowledge of God does not at all lessen the criminality of our acts—

[The Apostles did not, for a moment, entertain the absurd and impious thought, that the impiety predicted would be less criminal because it was foreseen. The action would be not a whit the less voluntary on this account; and the woe denounced by our Lord against the perpetrator of it was not, in any degree, the less merited or less severe.
Now, who shall say what Almighty God foresees respecting us? The probability is, that were futurity now to be disclosed to our view, it would be said, ‘One in that assembly will betray me, and, for the sake of some present gain, will sacrifice my honour and interests in the world. Another will commit such or such an enormity, and afterwards will terminate his own life with suicide.’ Suppose, now, that such a prediction were uttered, shall any one of us presume to say, ‘It cannot relate to me: I am not within the reach of such evils as those?’ No: rather let every one, with holy fear, suspect himself; and say, ‘Lord, is it I? O that it may not be me! Lord, grant that I may never be left so to dishonour God, and so to ruin my own soul!’

But I will suppose that God foresees such an event in any one of you; Are you the less free agents in all that you do? God has foreseen all that you have hitherto done: but did he ever impose upon you a necessity to do it? or will your conscience acquit you of having contracted guilt by means of it? Learn, then, neither to deny God’s foreknowledge on the one hand, nor to make it an occasion of questioning your own responsibility, on the other. God knows, at this moment, who will dwell with him for ever in heaven; and who will take up his abode in hell for ever, as much as if our doom had already taken place. But this must not affect our conduct in the least; nor are we at liberty to make his prescience a ground either of presumption or despair. We must look to our ways, and run with holy diligence the race that is set before us: God’s final decision will be the result of our conduct, and not of his decrees. He will never save any one purely because he had decreed to save him; nor condemn him because he had decreed to make him “a vessel of his wrath:” if He award eternal life to any one, it will be because he had sought it in Christ, and “by a patient continuance in well-doing:” and, if any one be made a monument of God’s indignation and wrath, it will be altogether on the ground of his evil deeds, and of his having rejected that Gospel whereby alone he could be saved [Note: Romans 2:6.]. Let us rest assured, that in the last day no one will have reason to complain of the divine decrees; but that, both in those that are saved and those that perish, the wisdom and equity of our God will eternally be glorified.]

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