Romans 12:15

DISCOURSE: 1909
SYMPATHY RECOMMENDED

Romans 12:15. Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.

AS creatures, we have many duties to perform towards our Creator: and, as members of one universal family, we have duties also towards each other. We all participate one common lot. The present state is subject to great varieties of good and evil; and all in their tarn experience occasional alternations of joy and sorrow, of elevation and depression. In these successive changes, we naturally look for some to sympathize with us. We expect, that they who are partakers of humanity, should feel some interest in our affairs: and, if we find no one that has a heart in unison with our own, we seem to ourselves as outcasts from the human race. Now the dispositions which we expect to find exercised towards us, we are called to exercise towards others. The joys and sorrows of others should, as it were by sympathy, be made our own: we should “rejoice with them that rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”
That this grace may be more cultivated amongst us, we will endeavour to shew,

I. The nature and extent of Christian sympathy—

Sympathy is that feeling of the mind whereby we enter into the concerns of others as if they were our own. Not that we are to interfere with others as “busy-bodies in other men’s matters;” but we should have such a friendly disposition towards them, as to participate both in their joys and sorrows, and to have corresponding emotions excited by them in our own minds. This is a duty incumbent on every child of man: “Let no man seek his own, but every man another’s wealth [Note: 1 Corinthians 10:24.]:” And again, “Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others [Note: Philippians 2:4. See also Hebrews 13:3.].”

Now,

1. There is scope for the exercise of this grace in reference to men’s temporal concerns—

[Are any afflicted in mind, or body, or estate? We should be ready to act towards them as Job’s friends did under his afflictions: “they met by appointment, to mourn with him and to comfort him; and they were so overwhelmed with his sorrows, that they were incapacitated for any active exertions in his behalf for the space of seven days and seven nights [Note: Job 2:11.].” This silence of theirs has been misconstrued by many, as if the time so spent had been occupied in uncharitable reflections, to which they dared not give vent. But those who have been conversant with scenes of woe, and have been suitably impressed by them, will be at no loss to account for the effect produced: lighter sorrows would soon have called forth observations of some kind, either from the sufferer or his friends: but such overwhelming griefs as his, astonished, stupified, and silenced all: and in proportion as our sympathy is deep, will be the reverential awe with which we shall approach the sufferer, and the tender caution with which we shall address him.

It may be said, that such feelings well became them, as friends of the afflicted saint; but that it is unreasonable to look for any such emotions towards a stranger, and still more towards an enemy. To this we answer, that, though friendship will of course heighten our feelings, and more exquisite sensations will be excited in us by the sight of a suffering saint, who is as a member of Christ’s body [Note: 1 Corinthians 12:25.], than would be called forth towards one who stood in no such relation to Christ, yet our compassion should be deep and tender towards all. The good Samaritan has shewn us how we should act towards any one, even though he should be of a nation that is hostile to us [Note: Luke 10:30.]: and David has shewn us how we should conduct ourselves towards him, even though he were our bitterest enemy: “When they were sick,” says he, “my clothing was sackcloth; and I humbled my soul with fasting: I behaved myself as though he had been my friend or brother: I bowed down heavily, as one that mourneth for his mother [Note: Psalms 35:13.].”

In like manner we should be prepared to rejoice with those who are brought into circumstances of a more pleasing nature. We see an example of this in the friends of Elizabeth. It was reckoned a great affliction to a woman to be barren: and such had Elizabeth been, till she was arrived at an age when she had no reasonable expectation of ever seeing her shame removed. But it pleased God in his mercy to visit her, and to give her a son in her old age: and when she was delivered of the child, her friends and relations came from every quarter to congratulate her on the happy event [Note: Luke 1:57.]. This was a fruit and evidence of their love: and wherever love is, it will be sure to operate in this manner: we shall not be indifferent to the happiness of others, but shall find our own augmented by every accession of happiness to our neighbour: and, if “a man who has recovered his straying sheep,” or “a woman who has found her lost piece of money,” call upon us for our congratulations [Note: Luke 15:4; Luke 15:8.], we shall feel real delight in the exercise and expression of our most benevolent affections.

Such is the disposition which we should cultivate towards all the sons and daughters of affliction; for in the exercise of it we perform a most important duty towards them, as members of one common family; and at the same time we resemble our common Parent, of whom it is said, that “his soul was grieved for the misery of Israel,” and, that “he delighteth also in the prosperity of his servants.”]

2. But the most urgent calls for it are in reference to men’s spiritual concerns—

[The joys or sorrows which arise from the things of time and sense are comparatively of little consequence: but those that are connected with the eternal world are of infinite importance. Are any of our fellow-creatures mourning by reason of their sins, which have grown up unto heaven, and are a load upon their conscience too heavy for them to bear? How should we pant after an opportunity to make known to them the glad tidings of salvation through a crucified Redeemer; that so we may “give unto them the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness!” Are any in danger of being “turned away from their steadfastness?” How should we burn with holy impatience to ascertain their state, and to “establish their hearts [Note: 1 Thessalonians 3:5.]!” In a word, we should so feel with all the members of Christ’s mystical body, as to be able to say with the Apostle, “Who is weak, and I am not weak? who is offended, and I burn not [Note: 2 Corinthians 11:29.]?”

Nor should our compassion be withheld from those who are insensible of their guilt and danger: on the contrary, they on this very account require it so much the more. Like Paul, we should “have continual heaviness and sorrow in our hearts for our brethren’s sake [Note: Romans 9:2.];” and, like our blessed Lord, we should weep over them, though we knew that they were just ready to imbrue their hands in our blood [Note: Luke 19:41.].

If, on the other hand, any return to their Father’s house, how should we rejoice over them, and join in the pious festivities of prayer and praise [Note: Luke 15:24; Luke 15:32.]! If afterwards they advance in the divine life, our joy and exultation should be proportionably increased [Note: 1 Thessalonians 3:6.]. The angels in heaven are not indifferent spectators of such events [Note: Luke 15:7; Luke 15:10.]; and should we? No: next to the salvation of our own souls, we should pant after, and delight in, the spiritual welfare of all around us.]

Such is the nature, and such the extent, of Christian sympathy: the value of which, however, will be better seen, if we consider,
II.

The benefits resulting from it—

It is of incalculable use,

1. To him by whom it is exercised—

[The heart of man by nature is selfish: but grace expands it; and, by interesting it in the behalf of others, gives scope for the exercise of better feelings. The man whose cares and pleasures centre all in self, has his happiness extremely contracted, at the same time that it is also of a low and sordid character. But the man who has learned to sympathize with others, derives pleasure from all around him, and makes all the happiness he beholds his own. The smiles of universal nature, the shining of the sun, the verdure of the fields, the cheerful aspect of the different tribes and orders of the animal creation, all diffuse a peace and serenity through his mind, and draw forth into exercise the principles of benevolence within him. The comforts also with which the various classes of his fellow-creatures are favoured, inspire him with a sense of gratitude to the great Source of all. The accounts which from time to time he hears of the wider spread of religion, and the consequent augmentation of happiness in the world, fill him with joy, and stir him up to the delightful employment of prayer and praise. Thus his sources of happiness are greatly multiplied, whilst the sensations of it are purified and refined.
If it be said, that by sympathy with the afflicted his pains are also multiplied; we answer, that in appearance they are so, but that in reality they are not. True it is, that many things which others behold without emotion, create within him a sensation of grief: but it must be remembered, that the grief of sympathy does not corrode, like other grief: on the contrary, it induces what, if it did not sound too paradoxical, we would call, a pleasurable pain. The sigh of pity and the tear of love may, in this respect, be compared with the sighs and tears of penitential sorrow: they diffuse a sweetness over the mind, as being evidences of the operation of a gracious principle, which God approves: whilst at the same time they reconcile a man to all his own personal trials, which always appear the lighter, in proportion as he is conversant with the trials of those around him.

Thus the very exercise of sympathy has its own reward.]

2. To those towards whom it is exercised—

[The sympathy of a friend does not at all affect the causes of sorrow; but it most materially affects its pressure upon the mind. It is as if a person took hold of a load which almost crushed us with its weight, and bore a part of it together with us. The very opening of our griefs is itself somewhat of a relief to a burthened soul: and the beholding of another, under the influence of love, participating with us our sorrows, and making them his own, wonderfully assuages the pain we feel. The sense we have of his kindness operates as a balm to heal our wounds. By the love we experience, our thoughts are diverted from the troubles we endure; and are turned for a season into the more pleasing channel of reciprocal affection, and of gratitude to a gracious God. Thus, by means of sympathy, the sorrows of the afflicted are greatly lightened.

On the other hand, the joys of any person are by the same means greatly increased. By every fresh congratulation, they are revived in the mind from time to time: the fire, which, for want of such stirrings, would have languished, is resuscitated; and oil is poured, as it were, upon the flame.]
But these things are rather matters of experience than of abstract discussion: to be known and understood, they must be felt.]

3. To the Church at large—

[Where these amiable feelings are displayed in full force and activity, the cause of Christ is greatly promoted. The beauty and excellence of Christianity is seen. Men cannot, or will not, judge of it from its principles; but they cannot help judging of it from the effects which they behold. The persons who beheld our blessed Lord at the tomb of Lazarus, were struck with his sympathy in this particular view: “When Jesus saw Mary weeping, and the Jews also weeping who came with her, he groaned in his spirit, and was troubled: and, on his coming to the grave, Jesus wept. Then said the Jews, Behold, how he loved him [Note: John 11:33.]!” So, when persons behold Christians participating with others freely in their joys and sorrows, they are constrained to say, Behold how these Christians love one another; yea, and not one another only, but all around them, strangers and enemies, as well as friends! The prevalence of such dispositions goes further to silence gainsayers, and to win souls, than all the most laboured arguments of learned theories: religion speaks to them here in a language which they cannot but understand and feel.]

Here, in conclusion, we are constrained to observe,
1.

How poor and inefficacious is the religion of the world!

[The world’s religion consists almost entirely of forms, of forms without either life or power. Certainly Christianity, even as professed by the world, has advanced the cause of general benevolence: but that benevolence extends not to the concerns of the soul. A worldly Christian can see thousands perishing in their sins, and not stretch out a hand to their relief, nor utter one sigh on their account: and, as for all experimental religion, whether of joy or sorrow, he derides it as the fruit of a weak or distempered imagination. The character of such persons may be seen in the elder brother in the parable, who, when solicited to join in the festivities occasioned by his brother’s return, vented his spleen in unkind reflections, both on the prodigal who had returned, and on his father who had received him to his arms. The most benevolent of worldly men has not a string in his heart that is in unison with one who is cast down with penitential sorrow, or that is exalted with the joys of faith. No: his principles rise not so high: his convictions are only intellectual; and they can never be productive of what is spiritual. Even in their moral effects they operate to but a small extent: but, in respect of spiritual sympathy, they bear no fruit at all. O, brethren, see from hence how poor and defective that religion is which generally passes under the name of Christianity: it is Christianity without Christ, in its principles; it is Christianity without love, in its effects. It boasts itself to have proceeded from the Sun of Righteousness; but it has neither the light nor heat that proceed from his glorious rays: it is a shadow without a substance; a name without a reality. If it proceeded really from Christ, it would make us to resemble him in our spirit and our conduct.]

2. How lovely and operative is the religion of Christ!

[Sympathy is of the very essence of Christ’s religion: “Bear ye one another’s burthens,” says the Apostle, “and so fulfil the law of Christ [Note: Galatians 6:2.].” Yes: he has taught us this both by precept and example: he bids us “love one another, as he has loved us [Note: John 15:12.].” And how has he loved us? He pitied us in our fallen state, and came down from the bosom of his Father to seek and save us. And during the whole of his abode upon earth, but more especially in his last hours, “he bare our infirmities, and carried our sorrows [Note: Isaiah 53:4.Matthew 8:17.].” And at this present moment we are authorized to say, that “he is touched with the feeling of our infirmities [Note: Hebrews 4:15.],” and that there is neither a benefit nor an injury that we receive, but he feels it as done immediately to himself [Note: Matthew 25:4.Acts 9:4.Zechariah 2:8.]. Such is the effect which the Gospel produces upon all who receive it in spirit and in truth. Let a sense of Christ’s love to us be duly impressed on our hearts; and it will immediately excite in us a love to all mankind, though in a more especial manner to the household of faith. See, with your own eyes, brethren; What is it that has given birth to Bible Societies, and Mission Societies, and to numberless other institutions that respect the welfare of men’s souls? It is the Gospel: the Gospel, faithfully administered, and affectionately received. Such ever was, and ever will be, the fruit of faith; for “faith worketh by love.” Seek ye then to become possessed of a true and living faith: and know, that the more entirely you live by faith on the Son of God, as having loved you, and given himself for you, the more you will drink into his spirit, and be transformed into his blessed image: nor will you fix any other bounds to your sympathies, than he has affixed to his [Note: Here open and recommend any Charitable Institution, as affording an occasion for the exercise of this virtue.]