1 Corinthians 7:10-16

Butler's Comments

SECTION 2

The Permanence of Marriage (1 Corinthians 7:10-16)

10 To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband 11(but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband)and that the husband should not divorce his wife.

12 To the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner desires to separate, let it be so; in such a case the brother or sister is not bound. For God has called us to peace. 16Wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?

1 Corinthians 7:10-14 Command: God's commandment has always been that each human marriage is to be permanentuntil death separates one member of the marriage. That has been God's will from the beginning of creation (cf. Matthew 19:8). Paul reinforces that by stating, To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord.. Paul uses the Greek word parangello which means, a proclamation, a command or commandment. strictly used of commands received from a superior and transmitted to others (see Acts 5:28; Acts 16:24; 1 Thessalonians 4:2; 1 Timothy 1:5; 1 Timothy 1:18; Luke 5:14; Luke 8:56; 1 Timothy 6:13; 1 Timothy 6:17 for usage of the word parangello). Paul charges that the wife should not divorce her husband. The RSV translates the Greek word choristhenai as separate, but it is the same Greek word used by Matthew in reporting (Matthew 19:6) Jesus-' statement about divorce. Paul is not talking here about separation without divorce. All through this context he is talking about divorce, the dissolution of a marriage.

Apparently in Corinth, new converts to Christ were leaving their believing partners, or unbelieving partners were leaving their believing partners, and completely dissolving the marriages by divorce. When Christians marry non-Christians, or when one unbeliever in a marriage becomes a believer and the other partner does not, there will always be difficulties. But, according to the apostle Paul, they are not insurmountable difficulties. The difficulties of such an unequally yoked marriage are not necessarily such as should call for divorce. The ideal situation, of course, is that both partners in a marriage be Christians. People who are contemplating marriage can and should choose Christian partners before. Love is not blind! Infatuation and emotionalism is blind. Love is not something one falls into but is something one wills, decides and does, and does constantly in spite of emotions or circumstances!

Marriage as an institution predates all other institutions. It was sanctioned by God before the Law of Moses or the Christian dispensation. God's will is that marriage should be permanent, no matter who is involved. When it comes right down to it, there is no essential difference between a Christian marriage in a church and a pagan marriage in the living room of a justice of the peace. There is no differentiate in God's will that every marriage be permanent until death. Marriage is not a sacrament of the church performed exclusively by and for the church. Marriage is for the maintenance of human social structure. It is an institution established by God to be practiced by the entire human race. When a man and woman sincerely agree to become husband and wife, and obey the social and civil laws for marriage in their community, they are husband and wife regardless of their religion! Marriage can only be made permanent through unreserved faith in Jesus Christ by both partners. It can never be made permanent by civil law or force. Jesus made that plain in Matthew 19:3-12. When men have hard hearts they will rebel against all that God has sanctified, including the permanence of marriage. The law is laid down for the lawless and disobedient (1 Timothy 1:8-9) and the civil state must legislate and enforce laws which will keep sinful and wicked people from perverting marriage until they destroy social order.

In a world where the majority of human beings are not Christians, God's ideals for marriage are seldom considered. Sometimes a Christian will compromise principle and marry a non-Christian. Sometimes, after two non-Christians are married one becomes a Christian. What is the Lord's will in such circumstances? God's will is always for the permanence of marriage. In any circumstance that would threaten to dissolve a marriage, God's will is for reconciliation (reunion, coming back together). While it is possible that a marriage might have to be dissolved for continued sexual unfaithfulness (see Matthew 5:32; Matthew 19:9) or because of unsolicited desertion (1 Corinthians 7:15) it is certainly not what God desires. He wants repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation.

Nor does the Lord desire that the conversion of one marriage partner precipitate the dissolution of a marriage. Paul says, If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. The Greek verb translated consents is suneudokei and means willingly resolves to dwell (Gr. oikein) with her without coercion.

There are several reasons the Lord demands permanence in marriage. We have already stated onethe need of stability in the social structure. Another reason is discussed in 1 Corinthians 7:14the power marriage has to sanctify unbelievers. Paul's instruction to the Corinthian Christian married to an unbeliever is that the believer should sanctify the unbeliever through the permanence of the marriage. The unbeliever is in a set apart circumstance (at least that much set apart from the world) by being married to a believer. So, the marriage of an unbeliever to a believer can become a powerful tool. When a man is converted, as head of the house he should lead his family to the Lord (e.g. the Philippian jailer and Cornelius). When a wife is the Christian and the husband an unbeliever, she has to be content with a slower process. Peter says that wives should submit themselves to their husbands; the husbands will more readily be won to Christ this way than through nagging, complaining or arguing (1 Peter 3:1-2). Children who have even one Christian parent are at a great advantage over children reared in non-Christian homes. So, children are set apart from total worldliness by just one Christian parent. God's will is that marriage with just one Christian partner be permanent wherever and whenever human beings are agreeable. Of course, Paul does not mean that any unbelieving spouse or child is saved by association. Being married to a Christian or being born by a Christian parent does not guarantee salvation. But it does mean, where one marriage partner is a Christian, the unbelievers in the home will undoubtedly hear the gospel or see it being lived out there more clearly and often than anywhere else!

1 Corinthians 7:15-16 Concession: But if the unbelieving partner desires to separate (divorce) let it be so; in such a case the brother or sister is not bound. The Greek words chorizetai and chorizestho in 1 Corinthians 7:15 should be translated, But if the unbelieving partner divorces, let him (or her) be divorced. There is no word in the Greek text for desiresthat is supplied by the translators. And, as we have pointed out above, Matthew used the word chorizetai to describe the Lord's discussion of divorce (not separation). There may be cases where one partner, not at all seeking to do God's will, may dissolve the marriage (for any number of so-called reasons) while the other partner may not be able to stop the dissolution. When the unbelieving partner in a marriage has a heart so hardened by sin he or she puts asunder (the meaning of the Greek word chorizetai) or divorces the believing partner, then the believing partner (brother or sister) is not bound. What does Paul mean by, not bound? At least he means the Christian brother or sister is not bound to the divorcing-unbeliever as a spouse. Most civil societies (some with more latitude than others) have laws permitting divorce. When an unbeliever sues in civil court for dissolution of a marriage from a believer, and it is granted, there is nothing legal a believer can do to maintain the bonds of that marriage. Therefore, the believer is not bound to that marriage. But the big question is: Since a believer is not bound to a marriage he or she was forced by civil law to dissolve (when the believer was unwilling to have it dissolved), may the divorced believer remarry?

Paul has already admitted the reality that there is a possibility of the dissolution of marriages even where one party does not want it to be so. The unbeliever who has caused divorce has sinned. He or she must become a believer, repent and be immersed in water in order to be forgiven. The question remains, however, does the New Testament absolutely and unequivocally forbid remarriage with a different partner after divorce? (see Matthew 5:31-32; Matthew 19:1-12; Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18; 1 Corinthians 7:15; 1 Corinthians 7:39; Romans 7:3-4). Actually, there are no absolute or unequivocal directions in this matter of remarriage. What each Christian believes or practices he does so by his inference or deductions from certain principles. It is the opinion of this writer that remarriage is not only possible for those who have violated the will of God and dissolved marriages by divorce, but that God desires remarriage in such a case for both believer and unbelieverfor both the guilty party and the innocent party. The following deductions have brought this writer to his opinion:

a.

God made marriage for the whole human race.

b.

Divorce is a sin; marriage is not a sin.

c.

Very few men or women have the gift to remain sexually celibate.

d.

Paul emphatically states, more than once, that enforced sexual continence (celibacy) when a person does not have self-control is dangerous to one's salvation (1 Corinthians 7:2; 1 Corinthians 7:5; 1 Corinthians 7:9; 1 Corinthians 7:36; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8; 1 Timothy 5:14, etc.).

e.

It is illogical to reason that a person who is divorced, when he or she is unwilling to be divorced, may be considered an adulterer or adulteress should they marry another partner. People cannot be made to be adulterers against their will! Society may gossip and stigmatize an innocent person in a divorce situation, but he cannot be an adulterer unless he has an attitude of promiscuitya heart that is against permanence in marriage.

f.

When there is a divorce there is no longer a marriage, neither in God's eyes nor in man's eyesTHERE IS A SIN IN GOD'S EYES FOR WHICH SOMEONE MUST REPENT (preferably a repentance resulting in remarriage to the same partner). But unless there is a reconciliation of the divorced persons, the marriage is over. They are no longer married to one another.

g.

There are two circumstances preceding a divorce in which, I believe, God considers one party in the divorce innocentsexual unfaithfulness and desertion. In both circumstances one party has to be unwilling to the dissolution of the marriage. It is, therefore, this writer's opinion that the innocent party is most certainly free to remarryguided by his knowledge of the revealed will of God about marriage and his own conscience.

It is, further, the opinion of this writer that God desires remarriage even for the guilty party in divorce rather than trying to force him or her to a life of celibacy which he may not be able to endure without burning with passion. I believe God and Christ are interested in producing the highest good in every person's life and in society in general. That is the spirit behind any Old Testament legislation or New Testament principle (for example, The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the sabbath).

a.

For the maintenance of social order, if an unbeliever cannot be controlled from promiscuous sexual intercourse by self-control, he or she should be married according to the laws of human responsibility and to keep society from degenerating to the level of animals.

b.

Paul points out in several places that while Christians are controlled by the highest principle, divine love, the non-Christian must be controlled by civil law, enforced by civil authorities (cf. 1 Timothy 1:8-11; Romans 13:1-7).

c.

What practical or ultimate good is going to be served by forcing those once divorced to remain celibate the rest of their lives? There really is no legislation to that effect anywhere in the Bible. There is certainly no civil law to that effect. If all Christians lived by the law of divine love, Christian husbands and wives would never divorce one another. But some Christians do not live on that planethey fallthey divorce one another. Are they to be banned to a life of celibacy for the rest of their natural lives? Is that seeking their highest good? What if they do not have the gift of sexual self-control? Should a minister of the gospel not also seek the highest good in every fallen person's life?

d.

Would enforced celibacy really heal the problems faced by children when divorce occurs? What if a husband is left with small children to rear? What if a wife is? Who shall support them financially? Are they better served to be reared without a father or without a mother?

e.

Would enforced celibacy heal the results of divorce? Will the church be able to support both materially and psychologically, all broken homes? Should Christians leave the healing of divorce in Christian homes to the civil state?

f.

Would enforced celibacy heal the problems of temptation and incontinence? (1 Corinthians 7:2; 1 Corinthians 7:5; 1 Corinthians 7:9; 1 Corinthians 7:36). Suppose we paraphrase Jesus thus, Is it lawful to do good through the institution of marriage or to tempt to promiscuity through enforced celibacy? Marriage was made for man, not man for marriage! Enforced celibacy in prisons merely intensifies sexual crimes! Christians who say those once delivered should never remarry need to look at what happens in prison among men and women separated from heterosexual marriage!

g.

In no sense of the word do I condone divorce for any cause. I do not even condone loveless marriages whether the partners remain legally and outwardly married until they die. Both of these situations are certainly less than God's ideal.

h.

But, neither do I think a minister of the gospel is partaking of the sin of divorce by performing marriage vows (since he is authorized by the civil authorities to do so) for couples who are unbelievers; for couples where one is a believer and another an unbeliever; for couples where either one or both parties have previously been divorced. God does not approve of divorce; I do not approve of divorce. God knows that all people do not have the gift of sexual self-control without burning; that is revealed truth and experiential truth. God does approve of marriage; I approve of marriage. As a minister, I have had nothing to do with their divorce; but I can have something to do with their remarriage, and, perhaps, repentance.

i.

And, of some significance, in every marriage I perform I may, in a positive way, be able to instruct and exemplify the Christian gospeland in a negative sense I may not give anyone an opportunity to criticize the church for lack of compassion and understanding.

j.

When I stand for marriage and the responsibilities that go with it, I am standing for law and order in the lives of unbelievers who will not be controlled by divine love but must be controlled by civil legislation.

k.

Is divorce a sin for which there can be no repentance (and no forgiveness) and no restoration? If a person embezzles, is imprisoned, released and states that he is of a different attitude, is he never to be allowed to handle an employer's money again? Should a divorced person never be allowed to handle marriage again?