Ephesians 5

Christian Belief and Behaviour

Ephesians

Les Painter (Bible text by Cynthia Green)

Chapter 5

5:1-14 ~ Love

5:1-7 ~ Live in love

v1 You must try to be as much like God as you can. You are his children and he loves you. v2 So you must let his love rule your life. You must love each other as Christ himself loved you. He gave his life for us. That was like a gift to God that had a sweet smell.

v3 You know God’s rules about sex. So you must not even think about doing something that he does not allow. You must not be *greedy or do other bad things. These things are not suitable for God’s people. Do not even talk about these things. v4 Nor should you speak bad words, or say silly things. Instead, you should thank God. v5 Other people may have sex in a way that God does not allow. They may do other bad things. They may be *greedy. You can be sure that they are not *worshipping God. They are like people who *worship *idols. They will not have a share in the *kingdom of Christ and of God. v6 Do not let anyone who does not speak the truth pull you away from God. God is angry with all those people who do not obey him. He will punish those people who do these bad things. v7 You must not be partners with them.

Verse 1 ‘You must try to be as much like God as you can.’ By *grace God has made you his child. Children copy their parents. Therefore, copy God and continue to copy him. Then you will become more like him.

Verse 2 Our perfect example is Jesus himself. He lived his life on earth as we do. He loves us as the Father loves him. We must love other people as Jesus loves us (John 13:34; 1 John 4:10-11; 1 John 4:1 Corinthians chapter 13). Christ *sacrificed his life for us on the *cross. That is how he showed his love for us. Our love also should be a *sacrifice.

We see the meaning of *sacrifice in 1 John 3:16. It says, ‘this is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ gave his life for us’. Then it says, ‘and we ought to give our lives for our brothers (other Christians)’. The offering of Christ, however, was more than an example to us. It was an offering ‘to God’ and ‘for us’.

The *Old Testament described a *sacrifice as a sweet smell. This meant that God liked it. There was, however, a far, far greater *sacrifice by Jesus for us. In the same way, we should give ourselves to God and to other people. This is our life of *sacrifice. It is like a sweet smell to God. It is also like a sweet smell to other people. Paul gives the same thoughts in 2 Corinthians 2:14-16.

Verses 3-4 The *Greek people could see nothing wrong in bad *sexual behaviour. It was quite natural for a man to have sex with any woman. He would do this whenever it pleased him. Paul gave a completely new way to think.

Paul now starts to teach about wrong and *sinful acts. People do *sinful things. They think that they are acting with love. But it is a false kind of love. Paul is speaking about wrong *sexual behaviour. There is a proper use of sex. It is in marriage. Paul teaches that any other kind of sex is wrong. Sex in marriage is not wrong or dirty. There is a shared pleasure and delight in sex between a husband and wife. It is a gift from God. It brings him *glory.

But, to use sex in the wrong way is *greedy. It pleases one person but it hurts another person. God gives us some wonderful powers. It is not right to use them wrongly. God does not allow it for his holy people. We should not even talk between us about such things. It is not right for the people of God.

Paul now uses three more words. These describe a wrong way to live and a wrong way to talk. These ways should have no place in the Christian life. The first is talk that is ‘not suitable for God’s people’ or ‘obscenity’. Obscenity is bad talk, especially about sex. The second is to say ‘bad words’. These might be the words of a man who is drunk. Such words do not benefit the people who hear them. The third is to joke in a wrong way or to ‘say silly things’. This could mean to tell jokes that are not suitable for a Christian. But it does not mean that a Christian should always be serious. He should be able to laugh about amusing things.

Paul adds the words, ‘Instead, you should thank God.’ You should consider other people when you talk. Your words should be helpful to those who hear. It should not be silly, foolish talk. To thank God is the best kind of talk. Some people want wrong things for their own pleasure. This is the opposite of thanking God. You should thank God for his gifts. You should not joke about them. However, Paul does not forbid talk about sex. Also, he does not say that we should not tell jokes. But he says that our talk should be helpful to God’s holy people.

Verses 5-6 A person who has no morals is not pure. He is *greedy. Such a person does not *worship God. He or she has no place in the *kingdom of Christ and of God. Paul says that Christians should not listen to those who do not speak the truth. Otherwise, this will pull them away from God. God is angry with these people because of such things. They will have no place with God’s people in heaven. They are people who continue in their *sin. They do not *repent. Paul says that they can be sure that his warning words are true. But some people think that they are not important. Those people laugh at them.

In those days, there were people who thought that only the *spirit was important. The body did not matter. So they thought that it was good to *sin. You could *sin as much as you wanted. It would not matter because the body was not important. Other people even went further than that. They thought that the more you *sinned, the more God would *forgive you. He would be able to give you more *grace (see Romans 6:1). So, they thought that it benefited both you and God. But this is false. Those who think like this may try to ‘pull you away from God’. Such people are not part of the *kingdom of God. Only those people who turn away from their *sin can be in God’s *kingdom.

Paul adds more warning words: ‘God is angry with all those people who do not obey him.’ God is holy. This means that he is separate and completely different from us. Everything about God is right. Everything that God does is right. Because he is God, he can do nothing wrong. He is completely good and pure. He cannot allow anything not pure or not clean to come near him. He is like fire. He burns and destroys anything that is not good and pure. It says in Hebrews, ‘our God is like a fire that destroys’ (Hebrews 12:29).

Because God is like this, it is not possible for a *sinner to come near him. God is angry with all of us because of *sin. We deserve punishment from God. We must *repent and receive God’s gift of *forgiveness. There is no *sin in Jesus. ‘Christ did not know any *sin. But God made him become *sin for us. As a result, we can receive God’s goodness by him.’ (2 Corinthians 5:21). God is angry with *sin. But he loves the *sinner. Jesus *saves us from God’s anger. What Jesus did was to stand in our place in front of God’s anger. He did this when he died for us on the *cross. God asks us to *repent and to accept Jesus’ *sacrifice.

The *sins that Paul names in these verses are the same as those in verse 3. Here, however, Paul says that *greed is like the *worship of *idols. An *idol is a thing or a desire that we make more important than the *worship of God. A strong desire for money or for wrong sex is an *idol. The Bible says that *sexual *sins are serious. They result in broken marriages. Children usually suffer when a marriage ends. They lose the love and discipline of two parents. But pride, *greed and to live for oneself are also *sins.

Paul says that none of these people has ‘a share in the *kingdom of Christ and of God.’ These words put Christ and God together as equal. Jesus Christ became a man for us. But he is also God. The *kingdom of God is also the *kingdom of Christ. This *kingdom is only for people who are right with God. No one who is not right with God belongs to it. It is possible for any of us to *sin in many ways. But God will *forgive those who *repent. The story about David, Bathsheba and Uriah in 2 Samuel 11:1-27 is a good example. Some people continue in their *sin. They are the people who have no part in the *kingdom. They are without shame. They are not sad about their *sin and they do not *repent.

Verse 7 ‘You must not be partners with them.’ We have to mix with other people in our daily lives. Otherwise, we would not be able to tell them the good news about Jesus. But Christians must not share in their way of life. We must not share with them in their evil actions. Christians should be holy, which means different or separate. (See Ephesians 1:4.)

5:8-14 ~ Live in light

v8 You used to live as they do. You were once darkness. And you lived without the light that God gives. Now you are light and you must live as God’s children. You must live in the light of the *Lord. v9 (This light produces in men all that is good and pure and true.) v10 Discover those things that please the *Lord. And then do them. v11 You must not have anything to do with the bad things that people do in the dark. Instead, you must bring them into the light. Such bad things produce no fruit. And you must say that they are wrong. v12 They do these things in secret. It is a shame even to talk about them. v13 We can see things that we bring into the light. v14 The light shows us everything clearly. That is why men say, ‘Wake up, you who are sleeping. Rise from death, and Christ shall give you light.’

Verse 8 God is light (1 John 1:5). Jesus is ‘the light of the world’ (John 8:12). You are united with him. Therefore ‘you are light’. Light shows the greatness and *glory of God. It shows his perfect, holy nature. The opposite of that holy nature is darkness. Apart from God, people in the world live in darkness. God has transferred those who have life in Christ. He has moved them out of the power of darkness. He has moved them into his *kingdom of light (Colossians 1:12-13).

Paul says, ‘you were once darkness’. You used to be like people who are living in the dark. He did not say ‘darkness surrounded them’. Darkness was not only part of the world that they lived in. It was actually in them. But now ‘you are light’ in the *Lord. You are not only living in the light, but ‘you are light’. You are children of light. So now, ‘live in the light of the *Lord’. Be what you are. Life is like a path that God will light up. He will do this as you walk along it as God’s children.

Verse 9 This verse is about ‘the fruit of the Spirit’ (Galatians 5:22). Fruit grows in a natural way. It is its nature to grow. It does not need to obey a book of rules. We should grow in the light as fruit does. Fruit is open for all to see. It does not hide itself because of fear. ‘Live in the light as he is in the light’ (1 John 1:7). The Christian needs to be honest with people.

Verse 10 Verse 9 is in brackets. Brackets are marks like this () that we use to separate words from the main part of a sentence. That means that verse 10 follows on from verse 8. So, ‘live in the light of the *Lord’ (verse 8). Then, ‘Discover those things that please the *Lord. And then do them’. This means that you must learn for yourself what pleases God. You learn this in your daily life.

Verses 11-13 The *apostle warns the Christians again. He warns them about people who do not obey God. He warns them about what they do in secret (verse 12). Christians must have nothing ‘to do with the bad things that men do in the dark’. Instead, ‘you must bring them into the light’. Let everyone know that these actions are evil. The light makes them clear. Therefore, the Christian must have nothing to do with these bad actions. He must not even talk about the things that they do in secret. It brings shame even to mention these evil things.

Moreover, these things ‘produce no fruit’. Fruit here means what pleases God. They do not just produce little fruit. They produce no fruit at all. The fruits of darkness are like weeds instead of wheat. We do not need always to be trying to be good. That way does not succeed. We should allow the *Holy Spirit to produce fruits of goodness in us. It is a natural development of the life of God in us. Fruit does not have to try hard to grow; it grows by nature. In the same way, Christians do not have to try very hard to produce good things in themselves. Instead, we should allow the *Holy Spirit to produce the good things in our life.

The steady, normal work of the *Holy Spirit in the life of the *believer will produce good things. People will see the *believer’s good deeds. His life will be completely different from the life of someone who does not have the *Holy Spirit. He may not even need to tell a person about his *sin (verse 12). The life of Christ is like a light that shines through those who know him. It shows the darkness of the *sinner. The *sinner will then realise that his life is dark. And he will realise that he has no good things in his life. This will force people to make a decision. Either they must decide to accept God’s light themselves or else they must remain in darkness.

If people hate the light, they will try to get away from it. If you pick up a big stone, all the insects underneath try to run away. This is because the light has come into their darkness. They do not like it. It is like that when the light of Christ shows through his people. Jesus spoke about this in John 3:19-21.

Verse 14 Paul writes, ‘The light shows us everything clearly’. We may not want to show up darkness. But the action of light makes things clear. Light, because it is light, must show up the darkness.

‘Wake up, you who are sleeping. Rise from death, and Christ shall give you light.’ This could be a part of an early Christian *hymn. They might have used it at *baptism. The new Christian would come up out of the water and the people would sing these words. ‘Wake up from the dark sleep of *sin. Rise up from the death of *sin. Rise into the new life of light that Christ gives you.’

5:15-6:9 ~ Wisdom

5:15-17 ~ What wisdom is

v15 You must be very careful how you live. You should live as men and women who are wise, not as fools. v16 You must use every part of every day for good things, because these are bad days. v17 So you must not be foolish. You must try to find out what the *Lord wants you to do.

Verses 15-16 God has given us wisdom (1:8). We can ask God for wisdom (1:17). Therefore, God will make his wisdom known to the world. He will also make it known to the *spiritual powers. He will do this by us (3:10).

So ‘be very careful how you live. You should live as men and women who are wise, not as fools. You must use every part of every day to do good things, because these are bad days.’ (See also Colossians 4:5.) This advice is very practical. Take care, especially about how you use your time. Use it in the right way. Use every opportunity to turn people from darkness to light. Use it to show the life of God to other people. The days are evil and the time left is short. Therefore, rescue or buy back as much time as you can. You are rescuing your time from the evil things of this world.

Verse 17 Jesus taught us to pray, ‘The things that you want happen in heaven. We want the things that you want here on earth’ (Matthew 6:10). God has a general will or purpose for everything. We find this in the Bible. But there is also a special will or purpose for each of us. We find it by prayer and by thinking. We can also ask for advice from other people. We need to discover the will of God for ourselves. It is important to know God’s plan for our lives. We must do everything that we can to know this. Otherwise, we cannot be certain about what we should do.

5:18-21 ~ Live full of the *Holy Spirit

v18 You must not drink too much wine or you will suffer. Instead let God fill you with his Spirit. v19 When you meet together, sing *spiritual songs. Sing and praise the *Lord in your mind. v20 Always give thanks to the God the Father for everything, in the name of Jesus Christ, our *Lord.

v21 You should *submit to each other, because you respect Christ.

Verse 18 Someone has said ‘a man must fill himself with something’. The man who is not a Christian fills his life with wine and pleasures of the world. The Christian is happy when he allows God to fill him with the Spirit.

One of the evil ways of the old life is to drink too much wine. This causes a loss of control of one’s actions. People have always tried to forget their cares and worries by drinking strong drink. It makes them feel good. That is true. But the feeling does not last. The Bible does not say that we should not have any strong drink. To those who would become leaders, the Bible warns about this (Titus 1:7). To drink too much alcohol and to lose control of yourself is clearly a *sin. Such people behave like animals. To drink too much wine is also a waste. That is the meaning of the *Greek word that Paul used here. We should control ourselves and not waste money. This is good advice for those who desire wisdom.

But Paul does not want to take away our joys and pleasures. In Acts chapter 2, the crowd saw wonderful things happening. People were becoming full with God’s Spirit. Some people thought that these people had been drinking too much wine. It is the same here as in Acts chapter 2. To let God fill us ‘with his Spirit’ is a better way to have joy. It is also an instruction from God. It is not just something to do if we feel like it. Moreover, we should let the Spirit fill us more than once. We should let the Spirit continue to fill us all the time. Then the *Holy Spirit will control every part of our life.

Verse 19 Paul tells Christians what should happen when they meet together. They should be glad and they should *praise God. They should sing and so encourage each other. This is much better than the false happiness of too much alcohol. Joy comes from inside us. Music can be inside us too. It may be silent and we may be singing only to the *Lord. Christians have always sung to God. Every new movement of the *Holy Spirit brings new songs of joy.

Verse 20 Paul tells Christians always to give thanks to God the Father. This can be by songs or in any other way. To complain is a *sin. In the *Old Testament, it was one of the *sins of the *Israelites. It does not please God. *Believers who are filled with the *Holy Spirit should not complain. They should always give thanks to God for everything. There is only one way to obey this instruction: that is to have a complete *faith in God. We do not praise God for evil things. We praise him for the benefit that he will cause from them.

All this comes from ‘God the Father’. But it is ‘in the name of Jesus Christ, our *Lord’. This is because every good thing comes by him. Again, we see here our Three in One God. God fills us with the *Holy Spirit. We then give thanks to God the Father. We do it in the name of our *Lord Jesus Christ.

Verse 21 Next Paul says, ‘*submit to each other, because you respect Christ’. This verse leads into the next part of the letter (5:22-6:9). That part is about how we should live our life. We should live at peace with each other. Paul tells us the secret. He tells us how Christians can live a good and happy life together. This is in the *church and in the world. But it is possible only if one person gives in to the other. Each person should not do only what he or she wants to do. It is wrong to be proud about our opinion. It is wrong always to be giving orders to other people. Such behaviour destroys our life together. Paul emphasises why we should *submit to each other. It is ‘because you respect Christ’.

Here are some ways that we can live this kind of life. We should each be willing

(a) to help each other;

(b) to listen to each other;

(c) to learn from each other;

(d) to allow another person to correct us.

It makes no difference what kind of person you are. You can be a man or a woman. You can be young or old. You can be a master or a servant. You need to work out what it means to ‘let God fill you with his Spirit’. Paul mentions practical ways to do these things. You can do them wherever you are.

All our actions then should be because of love and respect for Christ.

5:22-33 ~ Wives and husbands

v22 Wives, *submit to your husbands, as you do to the *Lord. v23 The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the *church. Christ *saved the *church. v24 The *church obeys Christ. So the wife should allow her husband to have authority in everything. v25 Husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the *church. And he gave his life for it. v26 He did this to make the *church *holy. He intended to wash it with water by the word. v27 He intended to make it pure, without any bad marks or stains or anything like that. Christ does this so that he will have a *holy *church without any *sins. v28 Men should love their wives in the same way, just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. v29 No man hates his own body. No, he feeds it and he looks after it. He looks after his body as Christ looks after the *church. v30 We, the *church, are parts of his living body. v31 The *Old Testament says, ‘A man will leave his father and his mother. He will join to his wife. The two will become one body.’ v32 This is a great *mystery. But I am speaking especially about Christ and his *church. v33 It also refers to you. Every husband must love his wife as he loves himself. And the wife must respect her husband.

The word ‘*submit’ means to give in to another person. But sometimes we think that it is a sign of weakness. The words of Jesus Christ have brought many changes to society. In many countries, it has made a big difference to the state of women. In the time of Jesus, a girl was completely under the authority of her father. A wife was completely under the authority of her husband. A *Jewish man, in his morning prayer, would thank God for three things. These were that God had not made him ‘a *Gentile, a slave or a woman’.

By *Jewish law, a woman had very few rights. Her husband could divorce her almost as he wanted. It was the same in the *Greek and *Roman societies. A husband could leave his wife and marry someone else. He could do absolutely what he wanted to do. Divorce was not a rare event. What Paul was teaching would therefore be new. It would seem strange. The word ‘*submit’ has a new meaning.

Verse 22 This section follows verse 21. It is about *submitting to each other because of respect for Christ. We spend much of our lives in the home. At home, we can practise Paul’s teaching in our daily lives. It is the first and most important place to do this. At home, husbands, wives and children work out the principles that Paul taught. What follows is not about our rights. It is about our duties to each other.

God made men and women equal (Galatians 3:28). It is important to remember this. In the *New Testament, they are equal in Christ. This means that to God they are equal. To *submit to each other is for everybody. We saw this in verse 21. It therefore applies to husbands and wives. All are worth the same to God.

However, God has made two different kinds of people, male and female. So, in this way, they are not the same. The way that God makes a man is something special to that man. The way that God makes a woman is something special to that woman. A man finds his place in God’s plan by being a man. A woman finds her place in God’s plan by being a woman. Because they are different, they can help each other better.

The Bible tells us in Genesis how God first made man and woman. God made man the head of the family. God also gave the wife her place in the family. That place is by the side of her husband. It is as his helper. It says, ‘But for Adam there was no suitable helper… Then the *Lord God made a woman from the bone that he had taken out of the man. And he brought her to the man’ (Genesis 2:20-22). The wife should not be against her husband. By her own choice, she should *submit to him. But to *submit is not something only for a wife. She should *submit as Paul asks each person to *submit in verse 21.

God is wise. And he knows that the world needs authority. When we *submit to authority, we agree with God’s plan. God wants us to live peaceful lives. He does not want us to have unnecessary troubles. So God gives authority to those people who lead us. It is for our benefit. It is ‘out of respect for Christ’ that we *submit to authority. We do this in order to please our *Lord and Master, Jesus Christ.

There needs to be agreement and unity in the family. This requires a leader. God has given the husband and father the authority to be this leader. So Paul says, ‘Wives, *submit to your husbands, as you do to the *Lord.’ A wife *submits to the *Lord and she *submits to her husband. The two relationships are different. For example, she might do something for her husband. She should do it as she would do it for the *Lord.

Jesus himself was under the orders of his Father. He only did what the Father told him to do. He did not have ideas of his own. (See John 5:19-20.) But Jesus was not less important than God the Father (Philippians 2:6). We can understand, therefore, that to *submit does not make a person less important. But it does make him or her more like Jesus.

Those to whom God has given authority are responsible to him. So they should use their authority fairly. They should not use it to make life easier or better for themselves. Husbands should use their authority in love. Fathers should be gentle as they bring up their children. Masters should act fairly towards their servants.

Verse 23 When God made Adam and Eve, he gave them an instruction. He said that the husband should be the head over the wife. Paul does not explain this here in this letter. But he does explain it in 1 Corinthians 11:3-12 and 1 Timothy 2:11-13. Jesus also referred to what God had said ‘at the beginning’ (Matthew 19:4-6). This instruction about the relationship between husband and wife is for all ages. It is not just for the time when Paul lived.

Christ is the head and the leader of the *church. The *church is his body and he ‘*saved the *church’. As *Saviour, he gave his life as a *sacrifice for the *church. There is a connection with this truth and marriage. The husband is the leader in the house. So this is how the husband should be towards his wife. It is as Christ is to his *church. The husband must not be a hard and cruel leader. No, he should love his wife. He should give himself and his time. He does this for her benefit and for her happiness. He should guard her and protect her. No one should be able to attack her or hurt her.

Verse 24 ‘The *church obeys Christ. So the wife should allow her husband to have authority in everything.’ Everyone would agree that Christ is the leader of his *church. All the people are under his authority. In the same way, the husband is the leader in the home. In front of God, the wife has taken on the duty of wife and mother. In the family, she should allow her husband to be leader. There are occasions, however, when these instructions may not apply. For example, husbands and wives may have different jobs. The husband does not have authority over his wife in her work.

Verse 25 There are 4 different *Greek words for love. One word is for *sexual love. Two more are about the ordinary relationships that people have with each other. The fourth is for a special kind of love that only Christians have. It is the kind of love that God has for every one of us. It is the love of Christ. It is the love that caused him to die for us on the *cross. ‘Christ loved the *church. And he gave his life for it.’ It is that kind of love. With this love, you do not think about yourself. With this love, you want only the best for the person that you love. It is the kind of love that we read about in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. This is the love that the husband should show towards his wife.

Verses 26-27 In these next verses, Paul writes about the kind of love that Christ has for the *church. Christ gave himself up for the *church to make us ‘pure, without any bad marks or stains’. He wants us to be *holy (or set apart). The work of Christ washes us. That means that it makes us clean from the old way. And it sets us apart for the new way.

The *cleansing is ‘by the word’ (John 15:3; John 17:7). These are not words like those that someone might speak at a *baptism. It is the word of the *gospel. It is the word of the Bible. A person needs to receive the word. Then it makes them clean and *holy.

There is something else in marriage that helps us to understand more about Christ. We see this in the way that the bride gets ready for her marriage. She wants to come to her husband looking as beautiful as she can. She wants to be ‘without any bad marks or stains’ or any other marks. It is the same with the *church, the bride of Christ. There is, however, a difference. The bride can make herself look beautiful for her husband but the *church cannot do this for itself. Christ did it for the church. So he makes it ‘pure’. We cannot wash away the marks of *sin ourselves. Think about the marks of age on our faces. We cannot remove them ourselves. And we cannot take away the results of *sin. It is by the death of Jesus on the *cross. Only his death can remove the marks of *sin.

Verses 28-29 Paul says, ‘A man who loves his wife loves himself’. He is thinking about Genesis 2:24. He writes about this later in verse 31. Genesis 2:24 says that the husband and wife are ‘one flesh’ or ‘one body’. In the act of sex, they join together. They become one body. This is why an act of sex should only be between husband and wife. It is wrong for people who are not man and wife to join in sex. When a man and woman marry, they become one body. So, if the husband does not love his wife, he does not love his own body. Therefore, he does not love himself.

If a husband loves himself, he will try to discover the best kind of life. It will benefit him. But it will benefit his wife too. That is because the two are one body. His wife will share his good life. She will enjoy any good things that he enjoys.

The *Greek word for love describes the love that God has for us. We have seen that before. Here again Paul uses this special *Greek word. He is writing about something beyond the love of brother or sister. It is beyond the love that people have in *sexual acts. Paul is speaking about the best kind of love. It is the best possible love that you can give to another person. It is the same love, with which Christ loved us. He gave himself for us.

Paul never says that the wife is a less valuable person than the husband is. Neither does he say that the husband owns his wife. The wife is part of the husband because they join in marriage.

Paul adds to this the words, ‘No man hates his own body. No, he feeds it and looks after it.’ To love yourself in this way is not wrong. It is necessary. If you do not look after yourself, you will die.

Verse 30 In marriage, the wife becomes part of the life of her husband. He therefore loves her and helps her to know Christ better. Jesus is like that to us. He has joined us to himself. We are part of his life. No one can break this union.

Verse 31 Now comes the verse from Genesis (Genesis 2:24). ‘A man will leave his father and his mother. He will join to his wife. The two will become one body.’ This is God’s plan for marriage. It is the most important statement in the Bible about marriage. It tells us that it is wrong for a man to have more than one wife. It is wrong too for a man to have sex with any woman who is not his wife. It tells us that God does not like divorce. Here is God’s perfect plan for marriage. It is that a man and woman should stay together for life.

Someone asked Jesus about this. Why was there a law that allowed divorce? He said that it was ‘because you were bad. You did not want to obey God’ (Matthew 19:8). That is why there is need for such a law. It is because the world is not perfect. But this is not part of God’s plan.

Before marriage, a man or woman share their lives with their parents. However, after they marry, they do not share their lives with their parents in the same way. But they still have a duty towards their parents. The parents have allowed their children to leave. They have ended all their rights over their children. God has now joined the husband and wife. They are like two pieces of wood that someone has glued together. You cannot separate them again. The two persons become ‘one body’. God *blesses their life together and they *bless each other.

Verse 32 Paul now says, ‘This is a great *mystery. But I am speaking especially about Christ and his *church.’ Paul has already spoken about this *mystery (3:1-13). It is about God’s great secret. It is his plan for everyone. It is for every age in history. God hid it before, but now he makes it plain.

This *mystery has great meaning. It is difficult to understand. Sometimes Paul calls it wonderful or great. In earlier times, God had hidden a very important truth. Now Christ makes it plain. Paul has been teaching about husbands and wives. But Paul makes it clear that the *mystery is more than that. It is about ‘Christ and his *church’. ‘Christ wanted to make the *Jews and *Gentiles into one people. He wanted to unite them with himself. He wanted them to have peace with each other’ (Ephesians 2.15). The ‘one people’ is *Jews and *Gentiles together. (In the Greek language, it is ‘one new person’.)

The husband is head of the family. In the same way, Christ is the head of the *church. The husband shows love and care for his wife. He does this by giving himself to her. This is the best example that Paul can give. Christ showed love and care for his *church. He did this by giving his life. The wife depends on her husband as guide and leader. In the same way, the *church depends on the *Lord.

Verse 33 But again Paul returns to the subject of husband and wife. He says, ‘Every husband must love his wife, as he loves himself.’ The duty of the husband is to love his wife. It is with the same kind of love that Christ has for his *church.

Paul continues, ‘And the wife must respect her husband.’ The *Greek word ‘respect’ used here is ‘fear’. You might fear someone who frightens you. But it is not that kind of fear. It is about your relationship with someone that you love. You want to please that person. You might do something that will not please him or her. That is what you fear. That is what our relationship with God is like. It is the kind of fear and love that each of us should have towards God. The Bible says that this kind of fear of the *Lord is ‘the beginning of wisdom’. When you fear the *Lord, you start to be wise.

greed, greedy ~ a great desire for food or wealth; to have a great desire for these things.
worship ~ to give thanks to God and Jesus; to show God that we love him very much. To tell someone that they are very great and that you love them. To love and praise or thank someone (God) more than anyone else.
praise ~ words that say how good a person is; words that give love to God, as when we are praying and singing to him.
idol ~ an image of a person or object that people love instead of loving God; a false god; an object out of wood, stone or metal for people to show love to instead of love to the real God.
kingdom ~ where God rules as king; land where a king rules.
grace ~ a gift, from God or from people, that we do not deserve and cannot earn; what God or people give because they are generous; the help and protection that comes from God.
sacrifice ~ a gift to God to ask him to forgive sins, or to thank him for something. An gift to God, often an animal or bird, by the Jews to ask God to forgive their sins. Jesus gave himself to die as a sacrifice for our sins.

sin, sinner, sinful ~ when people do things against God; when we do not do the commands of God; the evil nature that is in us that we were born with.

Jew, Jewish ~ a person who is from the family of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob; a person who believes the faith of the Jews, called Judaism.
faith ~ the belief in someone or something; to agree with and to do the things that God teaches; to obey his commands even when they seem difficult; belief and trust in God and in Jesus his Son; belief that the Bible is true; ‘the faith’ means the things that Christians believe about Jesus.
cross ~ two pieces of wood that someone has fixed together. The Romans punished people by fixing them to a cross to die. Jesus died on this; the cross is now the sign of the church of Christ; not to put yourself first but to put Jesus and other people first in your life.

Rome, Roman ~ Rome was the most famous city in the world at the time of Jesus. Their soldiers fought and defeated many countries. They made the people obey the rules of Rome. They made them pay taxes to Rome. The people could not rule themselves, but they had to obey the laws of Rome.
church ~ a group of people who follow and believe in Jesus Christ; a group of Christians who meet together. It can also mean all the Christians in the world.

'Old Testament ~ the first part of the Bible, which the writers wrote before the life of Jesus.
Greek ~ the language of Greece. Paul wrote his letter in the Greek language.
sexual ~ matters that are the subject of sex.'sin, sinner, sinful ~ when people do things against God; when we do not do the commands of God; the evil nature that is in us that we were born with.'glory, glorious ~ the power and great importance of God; great beauty and like a great king; a bright light that comes from God or Jesus.'sin, sinner, sinful ~ when people do things against God; when we do not do the commands of God; the evil nature that is in us that we were born with.
repent ~ to turn from sin to God’s ways; to change from past evil ways; a change of mind when we turn away from wrong things.

sin, sinner, sinful ~ when people do things against God; when we do not do the commands of God; the evil nature that is in us that we were born with.
spirit ~ evil spirit(s) from the devil; part of a person when they are alive, which we cannot see; it decides what to do – good or bad; God’s Holy Spirit, whom Jesus promised to send to all who know him as the Son of God.
devil ~ another name for Satan, the chief evil spirit.

holy, holiness ~ description of God, set apart, perfect, wonderful; completely good, with nothing bad in it; belonging to God; separate from sin, pure, clean.
Satan ~ a name for the chief bad spirit; the top devil; he is also called the devil.

sin, sinner, sinful ~ when people do things against God; when we do not do the commands of God; the evil nature that is in us that we were born with.
forgive ~ when someone stops being angry with another person who has done bad things.'sin, sinner, sinful ~ when people do things against God; when we do not do the commands of God; the evil nature that is in us that we were born with.
save ~ to rescue someone from the results of their sins

sin, sinner, sinful ~ when people do things against God; when we do not do the commands of God; the evil nature that is in us that we were born with.

'greed, greedy ~ a great desire for food or wealth; to have a great desire for these things.
lord ~ someone with authority.
Lord ~ the name for God or Jesus; it means that he is head over all.
apostle ~ a man that God has chosen to lead his church; one of the 12 men that Jesus chose to be his helpers and to teach about him.
church ~ a group of people who follow and believe in Jesus Christ; a group of Christians who meet together. It can also mean all the Christians in the world.'holy, holiness ~ description of God, set apart, perfect, wonderful; completely good, with nothing bad in it; belonging to God; separate from sin, pure, clean.

sin, sinner, sinful ~ when people do things against God; when we do not do the commands of God; the evil nature that is in us that we were born with.
believer ~ a person who knows Christ.
hymn ~ a song to praise God, like those in the Psalms in the Bible.'baptise, baptism ~ to put a person into water, or to put water on a person; it is to show the way that Christ makes us clean; when the Holy Spirit comes into a person who knows Christ; the way we show to everyone that we belong to Christ and his church.

holy, holiness ~ description of God, set apart, perfect, wonderful; completely good, with nothing bad in it; belonging to God; separate from sin, pure, clean.
church ~ a group of people who follow and believe in Jesus Christ; a group of Christians who meet together. It can also mean all the Christians in the world.

sin, sinner, sinful ~ when people do things against God; when we do not do the commands of God; the evil nature that is in us that we were born with.
spiritual ~ life that relates to the spirit.
spirit ~ evil spirit(s) from the devil; part of a person when they are alive, which we cannot see; it decides what to do – good or bad; God’s Holy Spirit, whom Jesus promised to send to all who know him as the Son of God.
devil ~ another name for Satan, the chief evil spirit.

holy, holiness ~ description of God, set apart, perfect, wonderful; completely good, with nothing bad in it; belonging to God; separate from sin, pure, clean.
Satan ~ a name for the chief bad spirit; the top devil; he is also called the devil.

sin, sinner, sinful ~ when people do things against God; when we do not do the commands of God; the evil nature that is in us that we were born with.

'submit, submitting ~ to give in to another person.
praise ~ words that say how good a person is; words that give love to God, as when we are praying and singing to him.
Israelites ~ the people from Israel; people that speak Hebrew; the people who are Jews and live in Israel.
Israel ~ the name that God gave to Jacob; the name of the people from the family of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob; the group of people that God chose; the nation of the Jews and those who speak Hebrew.
Hebrew ~ the language of Jewish people.

Jew, Jewish ~ a person who is from the family of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob; a person who believes the faith of the Jews, called Judaism.

Jew, Jewish ~ a person who is from the family of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob; a person who believes the faith of the Jews, called Judaism.
faith ~ the belief in someone or something; to agree with and to do the things that God teaches; to obey his commands even when they seem difficult; belief and trust in God and in Jesus his Son; belief that the Bible is true; ‘the faith’ means the things that Christians believe about Jesus.
believer ~ a person who knows Christ.
faith ~ the belief in someone or something; to agree with and to do the things that God teaches; to obey his commands even when they seem difficult; belief and trust in God and in Jesus his Son; belief that the Bible is true; ‘the faith’ means the things that Christians believe about Jesus.
church ~ a group of people who follow and believe in Jesus Christ; a group of Christians who meet together. It can also mean all the Christians in the world.'holy, holiness ~ description of God, set apart, perfect, wonderful; completely good, with nothing bad in it; belonging to God; separate from sin, pure, clean.

sin, sinner, sinful ~ when people do things against God; when we do not do the commands of God; the evil nature that is in us that we were born with.
mystery ~ something hidden that we cannot explain; something that is secret and unknown.'Jew, Jewish ~ a person who is from the family of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob; a person who believes the faith of the Jews, called Judaism.
faith ~ the belief in someone or something; to agree with and to do the things that God teaches; to obey his commands even when they seem difficult; belief and trust in God and in Jesus his Son; belief that the Bible is true; ‘the faith’ means the things that Christians believe about Jesus.

Jew, Jewish ~ a person who is from the family of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob; a person who believes the faith of the Jews, called Judaism.
Gentiles ~ people who are not Jews; people who do not know God; people from all nations.

Jew, Jewish ~ a person who is from the family of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob; a person who believes the faith of the Jews, called Judaism.
faith ~ the belief in someone or something; to agree with and to do the things that God teaches; to obey his commands even when they seem difficult; belief and trust in God and in Jesus his Son; belief that the Bible is true; ‘the faith’ means the things that Christians believe about Jesus.

'Rome, Roman ~ Rome was the most famous city in the world at the time of Jesus. Their soldiers fought and defeated many countries. They made the people obey the rules of Rome. They made them pay taxes to Rome. The people could not rule themselves, but they had to obey the laws of Rome.'submit, submitting ~ to give in to another person.'New Testament ~ the last part of the Bible, which the writers wrote after the life of Jesus.
Saviour ~ Jesus, the person who rescues us from the results of our sins.

sin, sinner, sinful ~ when people do things against God; when we do not do the commands of God; the evil nature that is in us that we were born with.

'cleanse, cleansing ~ to make clean by washing.
gospel ~ the good news that God has helped people who love Jesus; he has helped them by the life, death and raising from death of Jesus Christ; the good news about the things that Jesus has done for us; the message from God to us; one of the four books at the beginning of the New Testament.

New Testament ~ the last part of the Bible, which the writers wrote after the life of Jesus.
bless ~ to cause good things to happen to someone.'Jew, Jewish ~ a person who is from the family of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob; a person who believes the faith of the Jews, called Judaism.
faith ~ the belief in someone or something; to agree with and to do the things that God teaches; to obey his commands even when they seem difficult; belief and trust in God and in Jesus his Son; belief that the Bible is true; ‘the faith’ means the things that Christians believe about Jesus.