2 Chronicles 21:20

The Man Whom Nobody Missed

He departed without being desired. 2 Chronicles 21:20.

I think this is the very saddest epitaph that was ever written about any man. If you walk through a cemetery you will see many sad things written on the tombstones. You will see inscriptions that tell you that many many people have lost relatives who were dearly loved; but I don't think you will ever find anything quite so sad as this. Jehoram “departed without being desired.” Nobody missed him, nobody was sorry when he died.

Jehoram was a bad, cruel king. He began his reign by slaying all his brothers. He continued it by leading the people into wicked idolatrous ways. And when he died, he was so little thought of that the people did not even honor him by burying him in the royal tomb. They were glad to get rid of him. “He departed without being desired.”

Now I wonder if you ever depart without being desired. I have known boys and girls who made such a stir in a house that older people were glad when they went out. They lost their belongings, they left their toys all over the place, they stamped with their feet, they shouted they banged things about; and when they went out Granny heaved a big sigh which said as plainly as sighs can say, “Thank goodness those children have gone!”

And yet if they had gone away altogether, Granny would have missed them sadly. She would have thought the world a very dull place indeed without her boy or girl.

You see it isn't a little rowdiness that really makes people unwelcome. But there are some things that keep people from being missed. Shall I tell you the names of some of them?

1. Selfishness is one. The really selfish person is seldom missed, the person who is always thinking about his own wants and his own comforts, and who must have these attended to no matter how uncomfortable other people are made. If you really wish people to miss you the best way is to forget about yourself and think about them. I have met people in this world who weren't beautiful, or clever, or rich, and yet they were very much loved because they were always thinking how happy they could make other people.

2. Evil-speaking is another thing that keeps people from “being desired.” Have you noticed that, although many people are ready to listen to the tales of a slanderer, very few want to make a friend of him? When he leaves the room nobody really misses him, and if anyone thinks about him at all, it is only to wonder what nasty thing he is saying about them on the other side of the door.

If you want to be really loved try to find out the best in others and talk about that. The wonderful thing is that people become what you think them. William Wilberforce used to say that he had spent all his life in trying to find good in his fellow-men, and he had been disappointed but twice. Do you know what his secret was? He always looked for the best and so he found it.

3. Yet another thing prevents people from being missed, and that thing is cruelty. Jehoram was a cruel, bloodthirsty king, and people were glad when his reign came to an end.

Once upon a time the great French writer Victor Hugo was telling a story to his grandchildren. The story was about a bad boy who treated his dog so cruelly that the poor doggie died. When the tale was ended there was silence in the room for a minute and then one small grandson asked, “And what happened to the poor dog's wicked master?” “He remained wicked,” was the answer, “and he was terribly punished for his cruelty, for nobody loved him.”

Yes, that is the most terrible punishment that could befall anyone not to be loved. And remember that cruelty begins with little things. It begins with tormenting cats, and thrashing horses and dogs, and pulling the legs off flies. It begins with bullying younger boys, with saying spiteful things about other girls, with laughing at those who are weak, or foolish, or awkward. It begins with little things, but if you let it grow it will turn you into a monster whom everyone will detest.

Away on a hillside in Eastern Kentucky there is a lonely grave and on the grave there is a roughly cut stone. If you looked at the inscription on the stone, this is what you would read, “Jane Laler, ded Agus 1879. She wuz alius kind to everybuddie.” And in between the lines of that humble, wrongly spelled inscription you could read these words “She departed being greatly desired. A woman whom everybody missed.”