Leviticus 19:16

When Silence Is Golden

Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people. Leviticus 19:16.

Tell-tale-tit, your tongue shall be slit,

And all the doggies in the town shall have a little bit!

That is not a very nice verse, but it is made up about not very nice people the people who cannot control their own tongues.

Most of you dislike those who spread gossip and rumors exceedingly, and many of you would rather suffer punishment when you are innocent than tell the name of the real offender. Well, that is just splendid; but there is another kind of tale-bearing, or backstabbing, which we are all much more ready to take part in, and that is telling tales about each other to each other, picking holes in our neighbor's character behind his back.

It is about this kind of backstabbing that I want to speak today. There is a word for it, a very nasty word the word “slander.” Perhaps it never occurred to you that you were a “slanderer” when you indulged in this kind of backstabbing it seems such a horrid thing but that is just what you were nothing less.

Do you know what someone who spreads gossip and rumors is called in the Book of Proverbs? He is called a whisperer. I think that is a very good name. When you see two little girls going along the street speaking in low voices with their heads close together you will often find that they are telling tales about some other girl or about their teacher. Whether you wish it or not, you can't help hearing scraps of their conversation as you pass them; for every now and then they forget and raise their voices. This is the sort of thing your hear “And do you know what she said?... And wasn't it mean?... And would you have done such a thing?”

I want you to think very hard about spreading gossip and rumors, because it is a thing people don't think enough about. They don't think how much harm they are doing. Backstabbers are hurting themselves, they are hurting the people who are listening to them, they are hurting the people about whom they are telling stories, and they are hurting Jesus.

1. They are hurting themselves. They are allowing themselves to become hard, and unkind, and perhaps untruthful. Spreading gossip and rumors often leads to exaggeration and story-telling. You are telling a spicy story about somebody else, and you can't resist inventing a little bit yourself just to make it more exciting. Then the person to whom you have told the story repeats it to someone else, and the little bit you have added is passed on as true.

There was a good woman called Hannah More, who used to have a splendid cure for slander. Whenever anyone told her an unkind story about a neighbor she said, “Come with me now, and we will go and inquire if this is true.” Often the story-teller would say, “Thank you, I'd rather not. There may be some mistake.” But she always insisted upon their coming with her at once.

If there were more people like Hannah More in the world there would be far less slander.

2. And then gossipers are hurting the people who listen to their tales. They are poisoning their minds and helping them to think unkindly of their friends. They are helping to turn them into back stabbers too. For if you hear a spicy story, your first inclination is to go and tell it to somebody else.

And when a story once starts, you never can tell where it will end.

Once a woman came to Saint Philip Neri and confessed that she had said unkind and untrue things about her neighbors. Saint Philip told her to go to the market and buy a chicken that had been newly killed, and then to walk along the road plucking the feathers as she went. When she had done this, he told her to go back and pick them all up again. Of course she said that was impossible, and Saint Philip answered, “Ah then! remember that just so is it with your words. After you have once spoken them, they are scattered hither and thither, and you can never get them back again.”

You may go back and tell your friend you are sorry about that unkind tale you repeated and that you did not mean what you said. But the harm has already been done. His mind has been poisoned and the story has been started on its mad career. The best way is never to start it.

3. Again, gossipers are hurting the people they are slandering. They are perhaps doing so much damage to their character that other people will cease to trust them. In any case the story-tellers are helping those they slander to be worse, not better. They are putting stumbling-blocks in their path, and it is a terrible thing to put a stumbling-block in anybody's path.

A great French writer Victor Hugo tells the story of a poor convict who, when he left prison, made up his mind he would lead a better life. But he found it impossible. And what do you think was the reason? People knew his past and were also gossiping about how he might still be living badly and then he would have to move again.

Talking about people behind their backs is one of the most cruel things. It separates friends, it spoils reputations, it hardens hearts. Do you think discussing your neighbor's faults with others is going to make him any better? If you really wanted to help him you would go to him and tell him his mistake kindly and alone. Or, better still, you would let him know that you knew he was capable of higher things. You would let him know that you believed in him and trusted him still, and that it wasn't his real self but an inferior bad self that had done those wicked things that people were talking about.

4. But last of all and worst of all, back stabbers hurt Jesus Christ. They hurt Him because they are hurting themselves. They hurt Him because they are hurting others. Jesus always thinks the best of people and appeals to the best. And do you fancy it is nothing to Him when we hurt any of the children whom He loves? Would it be nothing to your mother if one of your friends hurt you?

Don't be a gossiper or back stabber, then. Try instead to be a tale-stopper. Try to say good about anyone who is being slandered.

There is a verse in Proverbs (Proverbs 26:20) which says: “For lack of wood the fire goeth out: and where there is no whisperer, contention ceaseth.” If there is nobody to repeat a bad tale it will die a natural death.

For gossip and tale-bearing I would say, do break the chain. Don't pass the story on to your friends and they won't be able to pass it on to their friends. It isn't easy always to say kind things, and to think kind things, but remember that it is the little mean characters who like to tell tales and pick faults, and the great, noble, loving ones who try to think the best of people.

Don't look for the flaws as you go through life;

And even when you find them

It is wise and kind to be somewhat blind,

And look for the virtue behind them.

For the cloudiest night has a hint of light

Somewhere in its shadow hiding:

It is better by far to look for a star

Than the spots on the sun abiding.