Mark 9:34

Quarrels

They had disputed one with another. Mark 9:34.

The disciples were journeying through Galilee, and as they walked they were having a discussion; they were disputing one with another.

And what is a dispute? Well, if it isn't a quarrel it is next door to one; it is the entrance hall of the house of quarrelling. In this case the disciples were probably hot and tired, for they had walked a long way, and very likely the discussion did end in a quarrel.

And what do you think they were disputing about? They were arguing about who should be the greatest. That seems like an odd thing to argue about. Does it? I wonder! Have you never disputed about who should get the best place in a game, or who was to have the first turn of something nice?

You see the disciples had a wrong idea about what Jesus had come to the world to do. They thought He was going to set up an earthly kingdom and they wondered what place each of them was to have in it. I expect Judas wanted to be Chancellor of the Exchequer and some of the others were putting forward their claim to be Prime Minister, Perhaps

Peter said he thought he ought to have that place because he could speak so well. And then his brother Andrew retorted that Jesus had found him first, and if it hadn't been for him Peter would never have come to Jesus, and as he, Andrew, had been the first comer he had a first claim. Then perhaps John struck in and said he thought he should be Prime Minister because he was young and strong and Jesus had made a special friend of him. And his brother James said, “Pooh! a baby like you! You're far too young for such responsibility. I've been with Him just as much as you and I should be much more suitable for the post.” And so on it went until, when they came to Capernaum, they were all feeling very hot and cross and annoyed with each other.

But when they had reached the house in which they were going to stay, and had all had a good wash and a meal and a rest, Jesus asked them what they had been reasoning about on the road. He didn't use the word “disputing,” because He knew they were still feeling rather tired and somewhat sore about the argument; and when He asked the question in that way, so gently and kindly, they began to feel rather ashamed of themselves. And then He went on to explain that the greatest person was the one who served others, the one who did not think about himself at all because he was so busy thinking about others.

Now people are very much the same today as they were when Peter and James and John and the rest lived. People still quarrel, and yet quarrelling causes a very great deal of unnecessary unhappiness in the world. It spoils the peace of homes, it breaks hearts, sometimes it costs men their lives. Even boys and girls can make a home very uncomfortable and miserable by their squabbles.

Then why do people quarrel at all?

1. Well, sometimes they quarrel because they are touchy. I once stayed in a house where there were four touchy children. It was like living on the top of a volcano! You never knew when there was going to be an eruption. The smallest thing caused an explosion.

Now of course if you are going to flare up at the smallest thing you may expect people to torment you. You just lay yourself out for it. The best way to prevent their tormenting is to pretend you don't mind. And then, later, you will come really not to mind.

2. Another reason why people quarrel is that they are too fond of their own opinion and they won't give other people room for theirs. Now it is a good thing to have an opinion of your own, but it is a wise thing to remember at the same time that the other boy's opinion may be just as good as yours, and that, at any rate, it seems better to him.

Did you ever hear the story of the two knights who met at a wayside fountain? They sat facing each other, and between them, suspended from a piece of statuary, hung a shield. As they were resting by the fountain they began to talk, and at first they got along in quite a friendly way. But unfortunately one of them, in the course of conversation, mentioned the shield and called it a bronze shield. “Begging your pardon,” said the other, “this shield is iron, not bronze.” “Not at all,” replied the first man; “I will stake my life on it that it is bronze.” And so they continued until they came to blows; and it was only when they were well-nigh exhausted with fighting that they discovered that the shield was bronze on one side and iron on the other! So they were both right and both wrong.

There is probably something right and something wrong in your opinion and in the other boy's too. Don't be pig-headed. Try to see things with other people's eyes as well as with your own. It is the onesided view that has been the cause of most of the terrible persecutions in churches and nations·

3. But the chief cause of quarrels is selfishness. Two people want the same thing and neither is willing to give in.

Once there were two boys who were great chums. One day one of them said to the other, “Come on and let us quarrel. It will be great fun. Ill say this stick is mine and you'll say it's yours and then we'll have a good old squabble.” “Right-o!” said the second boy, “you begin.” So the first boy started. “This stick is mine.” “Oh, all right,” said boy number two, “you're welcome to it!” So the quarrel fell through because neither of them really wanted the stick, and it takes two to make a quarrel.

If you want something that somebody else wants it is a great deal better to lose it than to lose your temper. That seems a hard thing to say, but your temper is sure to be the more valuable thing of the two. We can't always have our own way in this life, and it is very good for us to have to give in sometimes.

Now, some of us have quarrelsome natures, and it is more difficult for us than it is for others to “keep a calm sough,” as they say in Scotland. What are we to do? Well, if we feel that our tempers are getting out of control, it is not a bad plan just to walk out of the room till we calm down a bit. And if we have quarreled with somebody, let us be the first to make it up. If we think we are in the right, all the more reason why we should make the advance. Probably the other boy or girl is wanting to make it up and hasn't the courage to do it.

Boys and girls, life is much too short for quarrels, and there are quite enough hard things to bear in it without your adding to its difficulties. Make up your mind that you won't do it, and if you find it a hard struggle remember that the surest cure for quarrelling is to get our hearts filled with the love of Jesus. Then for His sake we shall love other people, and love “is not easily provoked.”