1 Peter 3:7

1 Peter 3:7 ‘You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with. weaker vessel, since she is. woman; and grant her honor as. fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.'

‘You husbands' -Peter may not spend as much time talking to husbands, but he speaks just as forcefully. Especially in view of the fact that everyone doesn't have. good husband, Christian husbands need to step forward and treat their wives in. manner which will catch the attention of the world (Matthew 5:13).

‘likewise' -‘in the same way, equally'. The question is--- in the same way to what? 1. The husband also has his duties to others and God. 2. Being. good husband involves making himself. servant at times to the needs of his wife (Ephesians 5:21). ‘so husbands are to conscientiously and responsibly attend to the needs of their own wives…the idea is that he must be as considerate and careful to maintain his God-given relationship to his wife, as she is in maintaining her rightful relationship to him.' (Oberst p. 155) 3. In like manner, the husband must treat his wife properly, regardless of how she treats him. 4. Barclay notes, ‘The great characteristic of the Christian ethic is that it is what may be called. reciprocal ethic. It is an ethic which never places all the responsibility or all the duty on one side….in the Roman moral code all the obligation is on the wife, and all the privilege is with the husband. It is the mark of the Christian ethic that is never grants. privilege without. corresponding obligation.' (pp. 263-264)

‘in an understanding way' -‘according to knowledge' (ASV); ‘intelligent recognition of the nature of the marriage relation' (Vincent p. 651); ‘in accordance with Christian knowledge' (Arndt p. 163). Points to Note: 1. Which means that he must be sensitive, considerate and understanding to the feelings of his wife. ‘should live considerately with their wives' (TCNT). 2. ‘The meaning is that the husband should interact with his wife on the basis of an intelligent comprehension of her needs as. person and as. woman. He must ever strive to understand those matters…Several suggestions come to mind: He would encourage her to communicate her perceived needs to him, and listen carefully to what was shared. He would inquire into her particular physical, emotional, and spiritual needs and how he might best address them. He would be willing to change, adapt, and adjust his life with. view to his wife's happiness and well-being. He would recognize her unique qualities and virtues, and appreciate her for herself, not making comparisons with others of her sex. In short, the man who dwells with his wife on the basis of ‘gnosis' (knowledge)-understanding-is willing to be informed and aware of his wife's needs---and address them! Ignorance is not bliss in. marriage, but deadly.' (Oberst p. 156) 3. This demands that the husband place the needs of his wife, ahead of his own (1 Peter 2:3). J.H. Jowett wrote, ‘Don't let thy personal wish have the first and last word…Be thoughtful and unceasingly considerate.' (Oberst p. 156) 4. The above phrase also infers that definite ‘knowledge' is needed for how to live with. woman in the relationship of marriage. Too many people just assume that they will naturally know how to get along. This statement also infers that women and men are different. Both men and women get into trouble and many marriage problems start when we assume that the needs of our spouse are identical with our own. Women have different needs then men, and the smart man will find out what his wife really needs and wants---and not what he wants.

‘as with. weaker vessel' -from 3:1-6, we already know that she isn't morally, intellectually, spiritually or even emotionally weaker than her husband. Grudem notes, ‘but the context would make it appropriate for him to have in mind any kind of weakness of which husbands would need to be cautioned not to take advantage. This would certainly include the idea that, by and large, women are physically weaker than men (i.e. if men tried they usually could overpower their wives physically). But the context also shows that women are ‘weaker' in terms of authority in the marriage (1,5-6), and Peter therefore directs husbands that instead of misusing their authority for selfish ends they should use it to “bestow honour” on their wives.' (p. 144)

‘vessel' -This doesn't imply inferiority, for the man is also. vessel (2 Timothy 2:21). Rather it reminds us that we are created beings, subject to frailty and accountable to. personal God (Ecclesiastes 2:7; Ecclesiastes 2:12).

‘since she is. woman' -‘woman'-‘translates. rare word (meaning, more literally “the feminine one”). It suggests that Peter looks to the characteristic nature of womanhood or femininity and suggests that. wife's “femaleness” should itself elicit honor from her husband.' (Grudem p. 143)

‘and grant her honor' -‘grant'-‘assign, show, pay' (Arndt p. 97); ‘present active, to assign, to portion out' (Robertson p. 110) ‘Honor'-to value, esteem, respect. Points to Note: 1. This honor would include ‘kind and affirming words both privately and public, and high priority in choices regarding the use of one's time and money.' (Grudem p. 143) 2. Included also would be listening to her views, advice or opinions, encouraging her to give imput on important decisions. 3. Also, really listening to her when she is speaking. 4. Taking her problems and worries very seriously. Not speaking down to her or treating her as. child. 5. Realizing how much she does for the family, and realizing how much it would cost you to replace her, if you had to pay for. full-time nanny, cook, housekeeper, maid, etc…'It was, and still is, no uncommon sight in the East to see the man riding on. heavily-laden donkey while the woman trudges by his side. It was Christianity which introduced chivalry into the relationships between men and women.' (Barclay p. 265) 6. This plays into the idea of ‘weaker vessel'. ‘If. man has. valuable and expensive vase…he takes more care and caution that it might not be broken or cracked…That he be in many ways her shield, protector, and defender.' (Oberst p. 157) 7. How. man treats his wife is exactly how that man views the value of his wife. You cannot separate how. man views his wife and how he treats her.. great myth of the 20 th Century is that. can ignore my wife, fail to provide for her, etc…and yet still love her. If. your wife is truly ‘always on your mind', then you will act like it.

‘as. fellow heir of the grace of life' -co-inheritor, ‘heirs equally with yourselves' (Mof). ‘Grace of life'-i.e. God's gracious gift of eternal life.

Points to Note: 1. Your wife stands on equal ground before God with yourself. She is. Christian, and God takes any mistreatment against her-very personally (Matthew 25:31 ff; Acts 9:5). 2. My goal as. Christian husband is to treat my wife in such. manner that when all of this is over and time is gone that she can say to me in heaven, ‘Thank you for being so supportive of my attempt to serve God while on earth.'

‘so that your prayers may not be hindered' -‘Hindered'-‘to be cut off' (Thayer p. 196). Points to Note: 1. ‘The sighs of the injured wife come between the husband's prayers and God's hearing.' (Barclay p. 265) 2. ‘As the closest human relationship, the relationship to one's spouse must be most carefully cherished if one wishes. close relationship with God.' (Davids p. 123) 3. WOW!!! Keep this verse in mind before you snap back at your mate or get into an argument that is already out of control. If you have. disagreement with your mate, you should conduct yourself, and treat them in such. manner that you can prayer afterward-and God will hear that prayer. God is so serious about how men treat their wives, that He is willing to cut off spiritual blessings to men who mistreat their wives. 4. It should be understood that the man who physically, sexually or emotionally abuses his wife is going to hell, unless he repents. 5. Here is. way to check your spiritual standing before God. If you can't apply Christianity to your marriage relationship, then you are failing as. Christian.