1 Timothy 3:5

“but if. man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?”

Here is the reason for the qualification. The results that. man gets with his own family will be an indication of the results that may be expected in the household of God. “Ill-trained, bad children reflect on any elder, not merely because they are hurtful examples to the children of the members (and non-members), but still more because they show that the father is incompetent for his office” (Lenski). “If. man cannot manage his own children whom he has reared, and whom have always been under his care, how can he manage the church of God?” (Lipscomb p. 148). “The way in which. man controls his home reveals his capacity for leadership and government” (Kent p. 133).

Various Questions

1. Must the children be merely well behaved or must they be Christians?

Paul in Titus is more specific and notes that the children must be “believing” (Titus 1:6). The expression, “that believe” refers to “a Christian” (Arndt p. 665). In Timothy, believers are Christians (1 Timothy 4:3; 1 Timothy 4:10; 1 Timothy 4:12; 1 Timothy 5:16).

2. Does an elder have to have more than one child? Does the plural “children” in this passage include the elder with only one child?

The following thoughts are not designed to make our lives more difficult, but rather to make sure that we are not making assumptions and taking things for granted. The following information is given because Christians will and do encounter the above question:

If. questionnaire is sent to fathers asking: "How many children do you have?" The man with only one child would write “one”, and this shows that the term “children” may mean “child”. But if the same questionnaire was sent, and it was first explained that when we say “children'” we mean. plurality of children, how would the man with one child answer, having heard how the word children is being used?

The same word rendered in Timothy and Titus children is used in other places in the New Testament, where it clearly includes the singular child (Matthew 7:11; Matthew 10:21; Matthew 19:29; Matthew 22:24; Matthew 27:25; Acts 21:21; 1 Corinthians 7:14; Ephesians 6:1; Colossians 3:20; 1 Timothy 5:4).

Clearly in the New Testament the plural children often includes the singular child, in the information presented below we need to ask the question is this because the singular inherently resides in the plural, or because the context or other passages would teach us such?"The primary argument advanced by those who advocate that. man with only one child can qualify revolves around the biblical usage of the words "children" and "child". The point is made that " singular is always included in the plural ", therefore. man who has one believing child could qualify. Greek grammarians are cited to show that writers.." sometimes use the plural for the singular, to give the expression. more general turn...and..the plural is used although the predicate refers primarily to one individual, when the writer wishes to keep the thought somewhat vague..or..in. generalization the plural can stand for one person ".

Yet plurals and singulars are not interchangeable. If they were, there could be no reason for having differences in forms of declension. This is not to say that the plural does not include the singular. The plural always includes the singular. “Churches of Christ” (Romans 16:16) includes. plurality of the singular (“church of Christ”). But the greeting was not from only one congregation, but. plurality. “Children of Israel” includes every child of Israel, but the phrase does not mean only one child. The elder's children include. plurality of the singular-child. But it does not mean the elder has only one child.

If plurals are interchangeable with singulars does this include all words in the Bible? If not all, by what rule does one determine which are interchangeable? For example,. Roman Catholic could take the various passages that speak of. plurality of elders (bishops) in each local congregation (Acts 14:23; 1 Peter 1:1; Acts 20:28) and declare that one elder overseeing. congregation is perfectly scriptural (since the plural includes the singular).

It is granted that sometimes that plural of teknon (Tekna-“children” in. Timothy and Titus); has. singular application. But this is not always true. Then how does one determine when “children” has. singular application? In the study of the Bible we have accepted the fact that words should be understood as having their most commonly accepted meaning unless: Context and or another passage teaches to the contrary. The normal, primary meaning of “Tekna” is “children”-plurality of offspring. Is there anything in the context that forbids the use of the normal meaning and demands. secondary meaning? Is there anything in any other passage of scripture that forbids the use of the normal meaning and necessitates (not just allows, but demands) the insertion of an secondary meaning?

Considering the Context: The same word “children” is found in reference to. widow (1 Timothy 5:4 “hath children”. The word is plural, but all would agree that this includes the singular child, because the context and other passages would teach such an individual responsibility. In the context Paul will mention the responsibility that rests upon the shoulder of an individual child (1 Timothy 5:8 “if any provideth not for his own, and specially his own household, he..” What if someone pointed out, “What in the context of 1 Timothy 3:1 and Titus 1:1. or in any other passage that deals with elders would prove that children would include the elder with only one child”?

One writer noted, “Every argument that. have seen favoring the one child position, reduces itself to the following-(a) Tekna has an abnormal meaning in some passages. (b) The context of 1 Timothy 3:4 and Titus 1:6 permits the abnormal meaning. (c) Since tekna can have. singular application, and the context does not forbid such, then this is its meaning. The position is assumed, not proven. It may be granted that tekna can, in some cases, mean child but it still must be proven to be so in the eldership qualifications.

Parallels that breakdown. There is. categorical, or distributive plural. In Ephesians 6:1. Paul writes, “Children, obey your parents.” All children (as. class) are commanded to obey their parents (another class). The command includes an only child, and the child who has only one parent. This is the distributive usage.. parallel breaks down immediately between 1 Timothy 3:4 and Titus 1:6. In the eldership qualification passages the subject is singular “the bishop must be” and the object is plural (children). All passages such as Ephesians 6:1 with. plural subject and object cannot therefore be paralleled.

Another argument is that the emphasis is not on the number of children, but on how the elder rules the house that he has, whatever number of offspring he might have. Yet such an argument is subjective, we assume that we know what was in God's mind when He gave the qualification. Remember, God does not always reason the way we do (Isaiah 2:8). If Paul had meant to put no emphasis upon the number of children, there are two ways he could have made such abundantly clear. Others have noted, “We see no point in imposing. qualification based more upon biologic ability than spiritual quality”, yet based upon the same argument we could appoint elders without any children.

3.“Must all the children believe?”

Admittedly, this is what we would all like to see, for no one would have. problem with. man whose children were all Christians. It seems to me that anything short of this opens up. number of problems. And anything short of this means that we are now operating upon pure human wisdom or logic:

What percentage are we comfortable with? Two out of three? One out of three?

It's hard for me to argue against 1 Timothy 3:4. which seems clear to me to teach that he rules well his own house, that is everyone that composes his household. The text does not say that he rules well. part of his household. If all his children must be in subjection then it is clear that all his children must believe.

In Titus 1:6. the children cannot be accused of dissipation or rebellion, which means that whatever children he has cannot fit into this category, which equally means that whatever children he has must fit into the first category mentioned, that is, believers.

4.“What if they become unbelievers after they leave home?”

At this point some would argue that 1 Timothy 3:4 and Titus 1:6 only apply to how the children behave when they are under this man's roof. That whatever the child does after they leave home does not impact upon the character, or leadership ability of their father, or how they were raised.

If what they do after they leave home does not reflect upon the elder, then what about the man whose children do not obey the gospel until they leave home? Would we consider such. man qualified (assuming he has all the other qualifications? Does what they do after they leave home reflect upon this man or not? If an elder's children can qualify him after leaving home, then why cannot their behavior disqualify him? And what is the cut off point? All the children can fall away but one? Or can they all? And how long after they leave home?

The real question is: Does Titus 1:6 and 1 Timothy 3:4 only apply to the children as long as they are at home? Please note that Paul in Titus 1:6 does not limit the period of time in which the children must be believers. Would not Christian children who have left home still be considered the elder's children and still be considered believers? In addition, would not children who have left home, who get involved in sin, still be guilty of rebellion and dissipation? If 1 Timothy 3:4 and Titus 1:6 only apply to the children when they are at home, then when they leave home does this not mean in such an interpretation that the elder no longer has faithful children.