Coke's Commentary on the Holy Bible
Judges 14:20
Samson's wife was given to his companion— Enraged at his wife for betraying, and at his companions for their mean proceedings; Samson returned to his father's house, and left his wife with her own relations. She, looking upon herself as wholly forsaken, and willing perhaps to unite with her relations to show their resentment at Samson, was readily persuaded to marry one of his bride-men; one with whom he had been most familiar, who was peculiarly his friend, honoured possibly with the name of the friend of the bridegroom, and whose office it was to conduct the bride to her house. See St. John 3:29 and Selden de Uxor. Heb. as before.
REFLECTIONS.—We have here,
1. Samson keeping his bridal feast. He did not refuse to comply with an innocent custom, nor would, on such an occasion, appear morose or singular. Note; Unnecessary singularity proceeds more from pride than piety.
2. Thirty young men are brought to do him honour on the occasion, and to be his companions during these festal days. Civility and respect are amiable, even in Philistines.
3. To exercise their ingenuity, Samson proposes a riddle to them. Note; (1.) Many dispensations of God seem, for a time, like this riddle, dark and inexplicable. (2.) The sweetest mercies of God to our souls come from the severest trials, as meat from the eater, and honey from the lion.
4. Three days do they in vain puzzle themselves to discover the secret; the fourth, which was the sabbath, or seventh day, they come to Samson's wife, and threaten to burn her and her father's house with fire, unless she would extort it from him, and save them the loss of their wager, though to her own husband's great disadvantage: a request unreasonable, and a threatening most barbarous and inhuman. Note; (1.) Unreasonable and wicked men stop at nothing when their worldly interests are at stake. (2.) Wagers are always better avoided, as contrary to the spirit of the Gospel; but they are sure to be highly sinful, when their loss is such as may injure our circumstances or occasion the ruffling of our tempers.
5. This false and faithless woman immediately began to importune him for a discovery, upbraiding him with want of love, and plying him with tears, which he beheld with the tenderest emotions. In vain he expostulates on the unreasonableness of the demand, when he had not told even his parents; she wearies him with ceaseless importunity, till he can no longer resist her crocodile tears and unkind accusations; and on the seventh day he intrusts her with the important secret. Note; (1.) An inordinate love of women makes wise men fools. (2.) A woman's tears are often her strongest argument: he must be more than Samson, who can steel his heart against them.
6. No sooner is the secret known, than she communicates it; perhaps the pride of her power operated as strongly as her fears or perfidy to make her eager to know, and hasty to reveal it. With this explication, they come to Samson before the seven days are expired, and claim the wager. He acknowledges it to be theirs; but hints their unfair dealing, in making use of his own wife to betray him. Note; (1.) When we trust a secret out of our own breast, we must not expect it will long continue such. (2.) Our corrupt affections are the heifer that Satan plows with, and by these he prevails.
7. Though the wager is lost, it shall not be at Samson's cost; the Philistines shall rue it. The spirit of the Lord coming upon him to authorise and enable him for the work, he descends to Ashkelon, seizes thirty Philistines, slays and strips them, and with these garments pays his companions. And now, from experience of their perfidy, heartily sick of his wife and them, he leaves the country, and retires to his father's house. Note; (1.) Ill-judged and rash marriages frequently end in unhappy separation. (2.) It were well if the ill usage of the world drove us out of it in affection, to seek our true rest at home with our God and Father.
8. No sooner has he turned his back, than his wife is given to his companion: perhaps, for his sake she had betrayed her husband's secret, and now hesitates not to defile his bed. Note; (1.) A forsaken wife is in a dangerous state. (2.) The friendships of the world are often faithless. (3.) If a woman's affections stray from her husband, it is to be, feared that her person will soon follow them.